The VoC: So Long & Thanks For All The Fish!

Indeed: the time has come to lay to rest The Voice Of Cheese. Over the past months, no less than 35 participants have had the guts to submit a track, knowing full well their entry would be scrutinized and critiqued before an audience of die-hard Zappa fans. That’s saying something.

To all who participated: kudos! You are the best, and I hope your submission got you some exposure.

“Is this the end of KUR Audience Participation?”, you ask? Mmmh, well I do have an idea that involves nothing much more than a webcam and a YouTube account… I’ll keep you posted.

The Voice Of Cheese: SOFA (II)

VOC #35 has our buddy SOFA chiming in once more. He says:

The band is called “Reckless” and it is the brainchild of my buddy Scott, and the drummer Jim. The idea is for this band to play American Country-Pop covers – because that’s what’s “hot’ around these parts (besides Karaoke, and synthesized-midi-driven dreck) and that’s what will get you hired – not that I’m Only in It for the Money, or anything…
When we were putting together a list of tunes, I suggested “Stealin” (sorry, I’m really just a dumb classic rocker at heart and I love Uriah Heep) because it was an old hit, it had ‘country’ lyrics, and it wasn’t Rascal Flats – who are great, don’t get me wrong, but enough is fucking enough…
This band’s “history” (we were ‘together’ for a little over a year) is too much like Spinal Tap to get into – our drummer never spontaneously combusted is the only difference.

I loves me some classic rock! Have a listen:


Like it? Download it!

The Voice Of Cheese: Pablo Contursi

VOC #34! Pablo says:

Here it is my contribution to VOC. This tune is named “La danza de los colibríes esquizofrénicos” (“Dance of the Schizophrenic Hummingbirds”) and I did it all by myself on my PC.

I don’t have much more to say, except I’m a 33 year-old drummer who lives in Argentina, plays in a band called Panza and has a blog (in Spanish). In near future, I’ll upload more sounds to this site on MySpace.

A very nice track, which carries a whiff of Mahavishnu Orchestra, dixit Dr Sharl. Have a listen:


Like it? Download it!

The Voice Of Cheese: Toupé

VOC#33, with Grant Sharkey. Grant says:

We’re called Toupé (myspace link) from the UK. Get compared to FZ a lot (mainly lyrically) and to Primus, musically – though there is a lot more in there. We’ve just released our third album ‘Chat!’ and would love to get some exposure to some FZ fans.

… and about the song, entitled Big Ones:

We went out to Knoxville, TN to play our first every show in a America. After the show, this girl with giant breats comes up to me and says “she didn’t like that song with all the cussin” – so I took her to the bar and explained it. Things hit off, started writing down my hotel room number for her, until she pops the big question: “will the love of jesus christ be in the room with us?” – i make a few jokes about a threesome with Jesus and she walked away.

Did you see that coming? I didn’t! Have a listen:


Like it? Download it!

The Voice Of Cheese: David Hulbert

If it’s Tuesday, this must be The VOC — this week featuring David Hulbert and his buddy Rob. David says:

Me and my mate Rob a.k.a Erroneous Apostrophe used to have a regular Zappa night, playing Frank’s music and discussing the universe. Rob is a damn good guitar player, he only practised this piece for about twenty minutes. The drums (BFD) are programmed by me, the bass synth played by me, Rob played about twelve takes straight off. This is nothing like what I do now, but it’s good to hear two mate’s groving on their Thursday Zappa night again.

I think this is VOC’s first full-fledged guitar solo! Have a listen:


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The Voice Of Cheese: The Lost Bees

Undaunted, the Voice of Cheese continues… This week’s tune, “Billy-a-Dick”, was sent in by Rick Wood. Rick says:

The song “Billy-a-Dick” was written by Hoagy Carmichael during WWII and arranged for use in the film “For the Boys” with vocals, backup chorus, and full jazz band. Here my friends and I (“The Lost Bees”) attempt to simulate that arrangement with a quartet. Moira Burke, vocal; Heather Hendrickson, vocal, drumsticks on chair, and kazoo; Jason Reed, keyboard; me, acoustic bass. Recorded in my basement direct to 4 track digital last Saturday by Johnny Lee. Our ensemble materializes only on occasional weekends, for fun.

A fun toe tapping adaptation this, if you ask me. Have a listen:


Like it? Download it!

The Voice Of Cheese: SOFA (2)

VOC #30 features one of several tracks sent in by SOFA (previously), entitled “Searchin’“. SOFA says:

My problem (as usual) is I can’t decide which I should feature. I’m interested in what you two feel is the best “fit” for the series. Attached to this mail is one of the few original tunes we do and that’s why I included it.

… And a sweet tune it is too! Have a listen:


Like it? Download it!

The Voice Of Cheese: Looptron

VOC #29 comes to us from Neil, aka Looptron. The track is called, quite aptly I might add, My Name Is Looptron. Neil says:

This tune (my first “official” track as an electronic-looping-type-musician) is really a proof-of-concept to see how feasible it was for me to do this stuff live. It took several thousand years of preemptive laptop calibrations and software wrangling, three software simulated tape loop delays, some massively re-processed guitar, a software simulated Rhodes piano, a vocoder, slight velocity and pitch randomisers on the drums and synth bass and approximately five minutes and nine seconds to play it all “live”. All instuments were recorded in the same take, although I did tweak an envelope here or a volume there before presenting it for public consumption…

BTW, you really need “Voice of Processed Cheese” category for this kind of crap. :-)

Upon first listen, Dr Sharl who knows about these things, labeled it Tangerine Dream-esque. I concur! Have a listen:


Like it? Download it.

The Voice Of Cheese: Ryan McNealy

VOC #28, ladies ‘n gentlemen — featuring Ryan McNealy, whose nom de plume is Hank Peters. Ryan says:

In order to continue the flow of the wonderful VoC, I thought “what the hell”, and decided to submit my amateurish audio piece to you. It’s called “Adventures Through FM Radio”, and I’m sure as hell that this concept has been done before (and executed better).

The guitar quality sounds a bit iffy in some parts, but this is what you get for being 16 and not able to afford quality microphones.

Either way, VoC must not die! I will threaten you with more content if you even think twice of removing it!

Why thanks for that threat Ryan Hank! Have a listen:


Like it? Download it.

The Voice Of Cheese: Ken Duvall

VOC #27 features regular KUR commenter Ken Duvall. Ken says:

OK – Here’s my song Aftermath, recorded a few years ago with the help of my brother Rich, and Skip West. It was at one time a longer piece, but I prefer this short edit…

A homegrown slice of Waka/Jawaka anyone? Have a listen:


Like it? Download it.

The Voice Of Cheese: Mölli & Laoudis

It took a brief interlude, but the VOC is back. Mölli & Laoudis is one of Jari Karjalainen’s pet projects (myspace link). The track — or rather: one of the tracks — he sent in is called “¿Es Rojo?”. Jari says:

I have no idea what I want KUR readers to hear,because it’s all too diverse what’s been coming up on the Voice of Cheese. Mölli & Laoudis might do the trick (both words meaning “jerk, idiot, hillbilly, stupid motherfucker, douchebag” etc., the former in Finnish, the latter in Swedish). “¿Es Rojo?”, with its horrible sound scheme and all, should be played as-is, and everything about it is intentional – even the (arguably) bad quality mp3.

Intriguing eh? Oh, and the mp3 is tagged as Genre: Swing. Thanks for the chuckle, Jari. Have a listen:


Like it? Download it.

Incidently: I have exactly two submissions left in store after this, so unless any of you guys ‘n girls send in new tracks, the end of the VOC is imminent.

It’s been a wonderful musical trip so far: 26 quirky tunes you’ll never hear on the radio. Want to keep it going? Send a note with a bit of info and your mp3 attached to killuglyradio [at] gmail [dot] com — don’t forget to put “KUR Reader Music Submission” as the subject line.

Any and all contributions will be posted here — they need not, I repeat need not, carry any Zappaesque influence. Why, I myself have lined up what could be construed as a pretty cheesy track for this series’ Grand Finale. Critics be damned. Anything goes.

The Voice Of Cheese: Max Urban (Jane23)

VOC #25 features a track called Kill Ugly Audio, submitted by Max Urban, aka Jane23 (currently defunct link: Max says:

It’s actually three pieces strung together.

The first piece is: How Do You Think? from my 1986 release: Phlegm Fatale which was a big hit in Europe and on college radio in the US. I sang and played all the instruments.

The next piece is called Seriosa, it was originally written for and played by the Dorian Woodwind Quintet in 1972. It also appears on the Phlegm Fatale album but in a synthesized version. The scratchy record sound was artificially induced.

The third piece is called Weird Phone Stuff and features Moon and Dweezil Zappa who decided to call my answering machine one day in order to leave some humorous comments about Phlegm Fatale. Weird Phone Stuff was released in 1993 under the name the Stool Sisters and was the B side to a song called Kill Whitey which was not a hit anywhere.

Any questions?

Erh no, that pretty much fills us in on the details Max!
Great tune, check it out:


Like it? Download it!

The Voice Of Cheese: Adam Irving

VOC #24 comes to us from Adam Irving. Adam says:

The name is Adam Irving, been a musician (currently gigging and recording as half of Me&jay) and writer for ten years or so. Name of track is ‘Hocket’. Its a solo piece with me on all instruments (tiny cheap keyboard massively processed and a guitar) the object of the piece, if any, is to work towards a piece without chords, time signature or melody, but that somehow stays together.

Have a listen:


Like it? Download it!

The Voice Of Cheese: Ghost Pilot

This week’s VOC comes to us from the Chicago based band Ghost Pilot. Keyboard player Eric Ahlgren sent in a track entitled “Singing Of The Sun”. Eric says:

It includes a looped sample of electromagnetic emanations from our sun which forms the basic harmonic drone around which our song is built. It starts off mellow and builds to an orgasmic frenzy which is sure to really get you out there. When the Sun explodes in 100 million years it’ll become a dwarf nebula…hotcha!

Got some ten minutes to spend on optional, interstellar entertainment? Yeah? Have a listen:


Like it? Download it!

The Voice Of Cheese: Inflatable Henry

Well now: having contacted two VOC-contributors who ended up failing to deliver in time, I guess you’re going to have to put up with one of my ditties.

The track in question is entitled “Counterfeit Antibodies” and dates back to my Inflatable Henry days. I started out by recording bits ‘n pieces of audio from some rather pedestrian sci-fi TV-show, threw them in a loop, and proceeded to go wild on the cheapo synthesizer effects. Added some electric guitar bits for extra measure. Have a listen:


Like it? Download it!