Don’t you be Tarot-fied
We are here to help you fill the cultural vacuum
Don’t you be Tarot-fied
Just pay your dues to the estate of the founder
FRONK ZUPPU!!! FRONK ZUPPU!!!
Don’t try to look behind his eyes
(They are made of paper and/or pixels)
You don’t wanna know what he has seen
Don’t you ever try to look behind his eyes
(They are made of paper and/or pixels)
You don’t ever wanna know what they have seen
Only the First Church of Zuppuology knows the truth of Zuppu
Only We know the true way to Zuppu knowledge
Don’t mess with Zuppu blasphemy and Zuppu heretics
But follow the true path of Zuppu to Laurel Canyon
Zuppu Freak:
Oh Mystical Advisor
What is my problem, tell me
Can you see?
R. Gayle Shiester:
Well, you have nothing to fear, my son!
You are a Latent Litigation Fetishist,
It appears to me!
Zuppu Freak:
That all seems very, very strange
I have never craved a lawyer
Or been on a jury before
R. Gayle Shiester:
A Latent Litigation Fetishist
Is a person who refuses to admit to his or herself
That sexual gratification can only be achieved
Through the use of THE LAW . . .
Get the picture?
Zuppu Freak:
Are you telling me
I should go into a courtroom now
Mr. Gayle?
R. Gayle Shiester:
No, my son!
You must go into
BERGER KAHN
(the Club)
Zuppu Freak:
What?
R. Gayle Shiester:
And you will have
Zuppu Freak:
Eh?
R. Gayle Shiester:
A lot of fun!
That’s where they all live . . .
So if you want a
Lawyer to love you
You’ll have to go in there
‘N get you one
Zuppu Freak:
That seems simple enough . . .
R. Gayle Shiester:
But if you want a really GOOD one,
You’ll have to learn a foreign language . . .
Zuppu Freak:
German, for instance?
R. Gayle Shiester:
That’s right . . .
A lot of really cute ones come from over there!
These lawyers really go for a guy dressed up like a tribute band who can speak German (you know what I mean) . . .
(Fifty bucks, please)
Inside BERGER KAHN:
Little ugly lawyers dance around with tribute bands with names like Protect/Object, Kilt Ugly Ratio, Bogus Pimps, Muffled Men and Shocked Yembouties . . . and when Zuppu freak sees this one lawyer, with an enormous supeonas covered with . . . he BURSTS INTO SONG . . .
Before leaving the First Church of Zuppuology . . . and for small introductory fee . . . you can briefly enter the Ye Old Vault itself and stand in the very presence of an actual replica of the guitar that Hundrox gave Zuppu as a gift . . . also be awed by our newly renovated Utility Music Research Kitchenette — now completely redesigned and automated in line with our new corporate philosophy: Attack Anyone at Anytime For No Reason At All. Then relax in our new lounge PEW 38 and refresh yourself with a nice Freak Up Ale or a Kill Ugly Stout, before stopping by our friendly store to buy your entire family a Fronk Zuppu T-Shirt (comes in all sizes and made with care by happy Honduran workers), Portrait-sized jigsaw puzzles and posters of our founder . . . Pay toilets available in the atrium, just ask our lovely hostess Lucille for change.
Why Scratching Relieves An Itch – “The reduced brain activity occurred in the anterior cingulate cortex, an area associated with aversion to unpleasant sensory experiences, and the posterior cingulate cortex, which is associated with memory.”
Zappa In Australia – “The object of this site is an attempt to confirm and catalogue everything Australian & New Zealand of Frank Zappa and Captain Beefheart.” (via Maroual)
January 31st, 2008 • posted by Barry's Imaginary Publisher
Zappanale 19: tickets on sale now! – “Due to many concerned calls and mails, we hereby want to relieve our fans and artists: there is absolutely no need to be worried. Zappanale 19 will be realized as planned.”
Robert Plant | No love for new music – “Wrinkly Robert showed his age with the rant at two of the world’s biggest bands as they were played over the stereo at Fifty Five Bar. He rubbished Radiohead and the Red Hot Chili Peppers – and then demanded to hear weirdo rocker CAPTAIN BEEFHEART instead.”
January 20th, 2008 • posted by Barry's Imaginary Publisher
No Porn Pledge Dot Com – “This site is a place for you to publicly declare your porn-free status.”
G-1000 Guitar Amplifier – “One channel is called the HAPPY channel. The other is called the ANGRY channel. For damn good reason. One sucks your face, the other gnaws your foreskin off.”
Title Details – Rockaway Records – “1969/1970(?) original 12-song stereo LP acetate Master Reference Dub (unable to date exactly) of largely unreleased MOI material.” Got $12000 to spare?
December 28th, 2007 • posted by Barry's Imaginary Publisher
Thanks all for posting comments and sending in emails with regard to You Know What — we all appreciate this more than you can imagine and will be adding more information here as promised. Since I’m coming down with a perfectly timed cold, nicely coupled with an ear infection, New Year’s Eve being just days away, posting will be light here for the coming days. Until then, a couple of links to relax, inform and keep you busy:
Untangle – intriguing little flash puzzle, oddly appropriate given the circumstances…
Ed Palermo: Zappa And Jazz – “let’s examine the question of why a composer/arranger should involve himself so deeply in someone else’s music”…
Wiki Jawaka – the wiki just recently surpassed the 4.000 articles mark related to you know who. Kudos to all involved! Onward!
Zappa Trivia Quiz – Fun, though not as tough as I would have expected.
Quote Of The Week: “Pfff, just my luck — to be a fan of both FZ and Prince!” – (Marco, via email)
KUR spotting – mentions of KUR elsewhere, in light of recent events…
Godspeed!
Oh, and will Bappy Lorenzo report at the front desk ASAP please? KUR’s World Tour Scrapbook has been missing ever since he received it on November 10th.
The 28 Most Recognizable Guitars – “We salute rock & roll’s most iconic tool of the trade since stuffed spandex — the multinecked, fur-lined, flame-throwing masterpieces that remain as influential as the shredders who strapped them on.”
Composer Stockhausen dies aged 79 – “Endlessly prolific, whether in fashion or out of it, he composed 362 works, including the world’s longest opera, Licht, a sequence of seven pieces – one for every day of the week.”
December 2nd, 2007 • posted by Barry's Imaginary Publisher
The Magic Band play Captain Beefheart in 2008 – “It may be a bit premature for me to mention that more dates are planned, but if I’m wrong you can just say it’s the first time I was happy to be confused.”
YouTube – TPMtv: Racing For the Exit – Jonnybutter says: “Just a bit of hilarious for you from rightwing American politics. The opening clip of the ‘Singing Senators’ is funny in its own right, but there is also a little bit of ‘Lone Ranger’ CC there (Hi-yo Silver! Away!).”
An eloquent title if ever I saw one, as you’ll surely agree. Anyway, you may have noticed yesterday’s post which consisted merely of a bunch of links and a bit of light commentary. What’s up with that?
Well, every day I come across links that I figure could be of some interest to you, but don’t warrant a full post of their own (or I don’t have time to turn them into one). I either spot these in my RSS reader, or oftentimes because one of you has sent them to me via email.
Using my del.icio.us account, I’m now bookmarking those, and with the magic of a little WordPress plugin, they will then show up here all neatly bundled into one post.
So if you come across a page, site, article, video clip that you think would fit a Delicious Links entry, by all means: do drop me a note. It’ll either show up here in one way or another — or it won’t. Don’t get mad at me when that happens. Remember: such is life. ;)
November 25th, 2007 • posted by Barry's Imaginary Publisher
Born Again Democrats – is it a hoax, is it a joke? no, it’s… born again democrats!
Google Trends: zappa – Maroual says: The mains events are highlighted with letters. Unfortunately, it seems that the ZFT suing a furniture store is the event that caused the most searches.
Radio 2 – Top 2000 – home – Han Zijlstra says: select “stemmen” and pick 10 records of your choice , of course with FZ on top.
