I Ain’t Gonna Work On Maggie’s Farm No More

Once upon a time, in a decade far far away, I became fascinated with the music of this weird character called Frank Zappa. Then along came the internet, and it didn’t take long before I had my own little homepage dedicated to the man. We’re talking 1999. It was called “The Way I See It Barry“, and it received about 10 visitors per day. It offered transcriptions of interviews, an image gallery and, at about the turn of the millenium, a fun little regularly updated feature entitled “Hot Poop“. Soon, this little feature turned out to be the most popular section of my little homepage.

maggies-farm.jpg

Fast forward to late 2007, and we’re getting some 2000 visitors per day — Hot Poop visitors exclusively. A chill runs across much of the FZ fan-community as the ZFT issues Cease & Desist letters to KUR, tribute bands and festivals for — well you can read all about that here. Our initial reaction is to just keep spreading the Zappa Gospel, while complying to the ZFT’s idiotic demands. And then it hits — like a brick:

Exactly who the fuck are we going through all this trouble for?

Not FZ, nor his musical legacy — at least not anymore. The internet’s Summer of Love couldn’t have ended more poignantly than with the Zappa Family Trust spitting in our face for attempting to keep the music of Frank Zappa alive, and for attracting new fans. I think I can speak for all of us here when I say that C&D left us with a sour taste in the mouth. We find the ZFT’s morbid tactics of divide and conquer misguided, counter-productive and, well, disgusting. It has taken all the fun out of working on this site. We’ve had enough.

As of now, this weblog will no longer be focussing exclusively on FZ news. Mind you, the official site does a much better job at that, don’t you think?

What FZ news is there around anymore anyway? More releases from a Vault that’s proving to be less and less mythical? Another ZFT endorsed Zappa Beer? New ZPZ gigs with no Special Guests because all of the Zappa alumni are fed up with the way they are being treated like shit? More C&D’s telling fans around the world to bend over and comply?

Fuck that shit. Count me out.
I ain’t gonna work on Maggie’s Farm no more.

So now what? Stay tuned. Changes are afoot, bear with us. As much as it grieves me to give up on this blog in its present form — a baby I’ve lovingly raised and nurtured for over seven years — it is now time for a radical U-turn.

Baby Your Face Is Mutated

The Tubes are a San Francisco-based theatre rock band founded in the early 1970s and known for their live performances which combined lewd quasi-pornography and wild satires of media, showbiz excess, consumerism and politics.

Influenced by the Mothers of Invention and Captain Beefheat & his Magic Band — The Tubes performed covers of Frank Zappa’s ‘More Trouble Every Day’ and ‘King Kong’ in a 1972 concert, and recorded a cover version of Beefheart’s ‘My Head Is My Only House Unless It Rains’ on their 1977 album, NOW.

Their 1978 album, What Do You Want From Live, is considered by many to be the quintessential “live” album. I tend to agree. I was also fortunate enough to see The Tubes live myself in 1981. I was not disappointed. Their live shows are legendary. After they broke up in the late 80s I thought that was it for The Tubes, but fortunately for new fans, after the release of their 1996 “return to form” album, Genius of America (after several disappointing efforts in the 1980s), a reformed line-up of The Tubes began touring again, including:

Fee Waybill (lead singer/songwriter)
Roger Steen (lead guitar/vocals)
Prairie Prince (drums/percussion)
Rick Anderson (bass)
David Medd (keyboards)

(Note that David Medd was invited to sing on Genius of America by Gary Cambra who has since left The Tubes to do solo projects).

If you can’t see The Tubes live, yourself, there’s always The Tubes Wild West Show on DVD (Unlike the live album, it doesn’t have any of those nasty “bleeps” the record company censors loved so much in the late 70s).

BTW, I know who I’d like to dedicate this particular video to…

First Church of Zuppuology

Church of Zuppuology 2
R. Gayle Shiester:

Welcome to the First Church of Zuppuology!

Don’t you be Tarot-fied
We are here to help you fill the cultural vacuum
Don’t you be Tarot-fied
Just pay your dues to the estate of the founder

FRONK ZUPPU!!! FRONK ZUPPU!!!

Don’t try to look behind his eyes
(They are made of paper and/or pixels)
You don’t wanna know what he has seen
Don’t you ever try to look behind his eyes
(They are made of paper and/or pixels)
You don’t ever wanna know what they have seen

Only the First Church of Zuppuology knows the truth of Zuppu
Only We know the true way to Zuppu knowledge
Don’t mess with Zuppu blasphemy and Zuppu heretics
But follow the true path of Zuppu to Laurel Canyon

Zuppu Freak:

Oh Mystical Advisor
What is my problem, tell me
Can you see?

R. Gayle Shiester:

Well, you have nothing to fear, my son!
You are a Latent Litigation Fetishist,
It appears to me!

Zuppu Freak:

That all seems very, very strange
I have never craved a lawyer
Or been on a jury before

R. Gayle Shiester:

A Latent Litigation Fetishist
Is a person who refuses to admit to his or herself
That sexual gratification can only be achieved
Through the use of THE LAW . . .
Get the picture?

Zuppu Freak:

Are you telling me
I should go into a courtroom now
Mr. Gayle?

R. Gayle Shiester:

No, my son!
You must go into
BERGER KAHN
(the Club)

Zuppu Freak:

What?

R. Gayle Shiester:

And you will have

Zuppu Freak:

Eh?

R. Gayle Shiester:

A lot of fun!
That’s where they all live . . .
So if you want a
Lawyer to love you
You’ll have to go in there
‘N get you one

Zuppu Freak:

That seems simple enough . . .

R. Gayle Shiester:

But if you want a really GOOD one,
You’ll have to learn a foreign language . . .

Zuppu Freak:

German, for instance?

R. Gayle Shiester:

That’s right . . .
A lot of really cute ones come from over there!
These lawyers really go for a guy dressed up like a tribute band who can speak German (you know what I mean) . . .
(Fifty bucks, please)

Inside BERGER KAHN:

Little ugly lawyers dance around with tribute bands with names like Protect/Object, Kilt Ugly Ratio, Bogus Pimps, Muffled Men and Shocked Yembouties . . . and when Zuppu freak sees this one lawyer, with an enormous supeonas covered with . . . he BURSTS INTO SONG . . .

Before leaving the First Church of Zuppuology . . . and for small introductory fee . . . you can briefly enter the Ye Old Vault itself and stand in the very presence of an actual replica of the guitar that Hundrox gave Zuppu as a gift . . . also be awed by our newly renovated Utility Music Research Kitchenette — now completely redesigned and automated in line with our new corporate philosophy: Attack Anyone at Anytime For No Reason At All. Then relax in our new lounge PEW 38 and refresh yourself with a nice Freak Up Ale or a Kill Ugly Stout, before stopping by our friendly store to buy your entire family a Fronk Zuppu T-Shirt (comes in all sizes and made with care by happy Honduran workers), Portrait-sized jigsaw puzzles and posters of our founder . . . Pay toilets available in the atrium, just ask our lovely hostess Lucille for change.

kill ugly stout small

All terrestrial, extraterrestrial, and interdimensional rights reserved from this moment until the end of time itself. All music, art, images, text and other content are vicariously copyrighted for the world & the universe & beyond © The First Church of Zuppuology (unless otherwise noted). Zuppu, Fronk Zuppu & The Virgin Beard and other various hairs as of yet not grown are marks belonging to the First Church of Zuppuology. All Rights Reserved. Register & Vote for Hillary. Free Buttons for members.

Zuppu himself

This post is copyleft.

Throttling The Mother

In today’s Guardian Online Arts edition: Throttling the Mother of Invention, wherein columnist Owen Adams writes about GZ’s “lengthy campaign against those who ride on his [FZ’s – ed.] memory”:

Her recent ire was directed against a laughably bad fans’ monument in the east of Germany.

I wonder what’s more laughably bad:

  • A statue of FZ, financed by FZ fans in his memory
  • A petition opposing the agressive legal actions by the ZFT — signed by some 2070 fans at this point of writing
  • The ZFT prohibiting us from using 100x100px artwork thumbs in our discography
  • A ZFT endorsed Kill Ugly Radio beer
  • A ZFT endorsed Freak Out Ale
  • An official FZ site where valuable information is deemed secondary to flashy, incomprehensible, impenetrable animation
  • ZFT Newsletters that prefer to cast aside factual clarity in favor of poorly written pseudo FZ speak (“the frost is on the pumpkins!”)

I’ll just leave that choice up to you. Moving on:

What would Frank think of this barrage of lawsuits against people who just want to keep his memory alive, enraged fans wonder? My guess is he’d approve. He was a self-proclaimed capitalist-libertarian like Ron Paul with a history of lawsuits to regain control of his music.

My guess is FZ would recognize the efforts of these tribute bands/fan sites and value them for what they attempt to achieve: to keep his music alive. Sure, he was adamant about keeping control over his own music, and rightly so — but in this case we’re talking about FZ vs Big Record Companiesâ„¢ and unscrupulous bootleggers looking to make a fast buck. Project/Object, Zappanale et all can hardly be categorized as such.

Surely you can’t accuse a band playing such obtuse music as Zappa’s of being only in it for the money?

To ask such a question is to answer it.

Myself, I’d much rather hear a Zappa-informed act like the Spinto Band than a huddle of Zappa acolytes recalling Brown Shoes Don’t Make It and Why Does It Hurt When I Pee. Somehow, the Mother of Invention is the only one capable of making profane songs sacred.

The issue at hand is not about what any given Zappa fan would like to hear — it is about the alleged illegality of grassroots fan sites and small time tribute bands. It is about whether such litigation, should it ever come to court, would even hold ground.

In all: a poorly informed mish mash of an article, Mr Adams, if you don’t mind my saying so. You, Sir, are terminally clueless. Admit that, at the very least. I know: takes balls though, does it not?

Links For 07-02-2008

  • Flickr: CD Cover Meme
  • The point
  • Why Scratching Relieves An Itch – “The reduced brain activity occurred in the anterior cingulate cortex, an area associated with aversion to unpleasant sensory experiences, and the posterior cingulate cortex, which is associated with memory.”
  • Zappa In Australia – “The object of this site is an attempt to confirm and catalogue everything Australian & New Zealand of Frank Zappa and Captain Beefheart.” (via Maroual)
  • The Scott Thunes Effect – “Frank Zappa bass transcriptions, as played by Scott Thunes”

Year of the Freak: February (the weesa)

In honor of that special individual who has stuck by the freak through the long years of freakdom — be it a friend, a girlfriend, boyfriend, spouse, mate, ex-wife or ex-husband (hey, you can’t expect everyone to stick around: twenty years is a very, very long time) — for helping to steal hub caps, for listening to those same favorite FZ/MOI albums and tracks over and over again, for hearing those same FZ/MOI anecdotes for the umpteenth time: this post is for you.

The weesa (she’s so divine)

FZShows v. 7.1

Under the highly competent maintainance of Oscar Bianco, the document has undergone some Massive Improve’lence, and FZShows v. 7.1 is now to be found [in a new place, under zappateers]. Make sure to update your links and bookmarks!

FZShows v. 7.1 was created by Jon Naurin and is maintained by Jon Naurin and Oscar Bianco – thank you guys! Keep up the good work!!!

Gunpoint

Outrageous: we’ve received a video showing what we presume to be a young webmaster held hostage and forced to confess at gunpoint.

Gunshots could be heard on the tape and it’s clear that the prisoner has been denied basic human rights, and contact with family for at least five years, and given no access to the outside world. I strongly advice to the faint of heart to NOT watch this video. Torture can never be justified, and must be clearly condemned.

Nick Harper: Titties and Beer


Nick plays a cover of Frank Zappa’s ‘Titties and Beer’ for his encore at Greenbelt 06. Interesting choice of song for a Christian festival!

From another source:

Roy’s son Nick regularly features a version of ‘Titties and Beer’ in live concerts (at which Roy has taken the role of the Devil), and has also been known to break into a snippet of ‘St. Alphonso’s Pancake Breakfast’. Well worth seening live – an excellent guitarist & witty songwriter in his own right. His latest double live album is selling for a very reasonable price now at Quixotic Records, and latest news is that the ZFT have given permission for TAB to appear on a future album.

By the way, the whole thing started with this find:
International Moustache Month. :-)

Zappateers Festival

Fellow Zappateer Bengt Nilsson writes in:

Hi dear Zappafellows (or Zäppi perhaps),
We the Zappateers would like to invite all of you to our mini-festival in Nijmegen Holland on March 14-15. It’s an indoor event, rather a party than a festival with hopefully some 120 attendant plus the bands.

I’m loving the promotional poster by the way — click for full view:

Zappateer Festival

Tension = Sales

Stanley Zappa makes an interesting point:

(…) I had occasion to speak with my friend Mark on the telephone. We talked about this and that.

“Tension equals sales” said Mark.
“It sounds like Gail took marketing 101”

Tension equals sales. (Tension = Sales)

At first it kind of sounded like Reich. In the end it just sounds like the devilry it is.

El Copyright Del Mundo Invisible

Maroual writes in with the following question:

Could the Gala-Salvador Dalí Foundation send a C&D letter?

… and refers to this post he made on the Zäppî forums:

The Zappa Wazoo liner notes mention “Cover Art ‘Mundo Invisible’ (oil on canvas, 60″ x 72″) by Christopher Mark Brennan, 2003″ which itself is a derivative work of the excellent Slave Market with the Disappearing Bust of Voltaire (oil on canvas, 46.5″ x 65.5”) by Salvador Dalí, 1940.
Actually I was curious to know whether any permission was needed and/or requested to the Dalí Family Trust (la Fundació Gala-Salvador Dalí) prior painting and then publishing. This painting should not fall in the public domain before 2010 thanks to the copyright extensions, right?
Does this constitute a copyright infrigement? Does this respect the original intent of the painter?

Heh heh!

Year of the Freak: January (the rat)

In honor of our friendly neighborhood webmaster, Barry, and due to unfortunate circumstances beyond his control whereby the discography section can no longer post images of a thumbnail nature, I post the above.

Hey, any excuse for a guitar solo is a good excuse.

Frank Zappa Ambigram

An ambigram of the words ‘Frank Zappa.’ A bit of a hero of mine is Zappa, and I’ve wanted to design an ambigram around his name for a while. I came up with a symmetrical totem solution which I’m very please with. I particularly like the square at the bottom of the design hinting at his famous trademark beard and moustache!

Made by Derren Lee Poole, ambigram designer – this is a nice one, hm? I hope it’s not a copyright infringement…