Archive for the ‘Science’ Category

First Church of Zuppuology

Church of Zuppuology 2
R. Gayle Shiester:

Welcome to the First Church of Zuppuology!

Don’t you be Tarot-fied
We are here to help you fill the cultural vacuum
Don’t you be Tarot-fied
Just pay your dues to the estate of the founder

FRONK ZUPPU!!! FRONK ZUPPU!!!

Don’t try to look behind his eyes
(They are made of paper and/or pixels)
You don’t wanna know what he has seen
Don’t you ever try to look behind his eyes
(They are made of paper and/or pixels)
You don’t ever wanna know what they have seen

Only the First Church of Zuppuology knows the truth of Zuppu
Only We know the true way to Zuppu knowledge
Don’t mess with Zuppu blasphemy and Zuppu heretics
But follow the true path of Zuppu to Laurel Canyon

Zuppu Freak:

Oh Mystical Advisor
What is my problem, tell me
Can you see?

R. Gayle Shiester:

Well, you have nothing to fear, my son!
You are a Latent Litigation Fetishist,
It appears to me!

Zuppu Freak:

That all seems very, very strange
I have never craved a lawyer
Or been on a jury before

R. Gayle Shiester:

A Latent Litigation Fetishist
Is a person who refuses to admit to his or herself
That sexual gratification can only be achieved
Through the use of THE LAW . . .
Get the picture?

Zuppu Freak:

Are you telling me
I should go into a courtroom now
Mr. Gayle?

R. Gayle Shiester:

No, my son!
You must go into
BERGER KAHN
(the Club)

Zuppu Freak:

What?

R. Gayle Shiester:

And you will have

Zuppu Freak:

Eh?

R. Gayle Shiester:

A lot of fun!
That’s where they all live . . .
So if you want a
Lawyer to love you
You’ll have to go in there
‘N get you one

Zuppu Freak:

That seems simple enough . . .

R. Gayle Shiester:

But if you want a really GOOD one,
You’ll have to learn a foreign language . . .

Zuppu Freak:

German, for instance?

R. Gayle Shiester:

That’s right . . .
A lot of really cute ones come from over there!
These lawyers really go for a guy dressed up like a tribute band who can speak German (you know what I mean) . . .
(Fifty bucks, please)

Inside BERGER KAHN:

Little ugly lawyers dance around with tribute bands with names like Protect/Object, Kilt Ugly Ratio, Bogus Pimps, Muffled Men and Shocked Yembouties . . . and when Zuppu freak sees this one lawyer, with an enormous supeonas covered with . . . he BURSTS INTO SONG . . .

Before leaving the First Church of Zuppuology . . . and for small introductory fee . . . you can briefly enter the Ye Old Vault itself and stand in the very presence of an actual replica of the guitar that Hundrox gave Zuppu as a gift . . . also be awed by our newly renovated Utility Music Research Kitchenette — now completely redesigned and automated in line with our new corporate philosophy: Attack Anyone at Anytime For No Reason At All. Then relax in our new lounge PEW 38 and refresh yourself with a nice Freak Up Ale or a Kill Ugly Stout, before stopping by our friendly store to buy your entire family a Fronk Zuppu T-Shirt (comes in all sizes and made with care by happy Honduran workers), Portrait-sized jigsaw puzzles and posters of our founder . . . Pay toilets available in the atrium, just ask our lovely hostess Lucille for change.

kill ugly stout small

All terrestrial, extraterrestrial, and interdimensional rights reserved from this moment until the end of time itself. All music, art, images, text and other content are vicariously copyrighted for the world & the universe & beyond © The First Church of Zuppuology (unless otherwise noted). Zuppu, Fronk Zuppu & The Virgin Beard and other various hairs as of yet not grown are marks belonging to the First Church of Zuppuology. All Rights Reserved. Register & Vote for Hillary. Free Buttons for members.

Zuppu himself

This post is copyleft.

The Mp3 Encoding Debate: Results Are In

A follow-up to this post: Cognitive Daily yesterday published its rather (un?)surprising results:

For both recordings, there was a significant difference between ratings of the 64 kbps sampling rate and the 128 kbps sampling rate, but no difference between ratings of the 128 and 256 kbps sampling rate. It’s looking like the 256 kbps MP3s offer no advantage over the much smaller 128 kbps MP3s.

Out of nearly 700 participants, 33 were able to detect a difference in audio quality between both sampling rates. I bet those 33 will be identified as being avid KUR readers! :)

An mp3 Is An mp3 Is An mp3?

Cognitive Daily is carrying out an online poll to determine just how audible the fluctuation in quality is between mp3′s that have different encodings:

I created three different versions of two song clips — 64, 128, and 256 kbps MP3 format. Then I re-encoded all of them at 256 kbps so the files are all the same size. Can you identify which recording sounds better? Is there a difference between the listening skills of “audiophiles” and ordinary listeners? Now we’ll find out.

There have been numerous mp3-vs-lossless debates here and elsewhere, so I’m quite curious to see the results of this test. To participate, keep your ears and headset at the ready and click here. The results should be posted at Cognitive Daily next Friday, November 30.

Via Duncan.

Music And Amnesia

In March of 1985, Clive Wearing, an eminent English musician and musicologist in his mid-forties, was struck by a brain infection—herpes encephalitis—affecting especially the parts of his brain concerned with memory. He was left with a memory span of only seconds — the most devastating case of amnesia ever recorded. New events and experiences were effaced almost instantly. Oliver Sacks‘ fascinating essay The Abyss tells the tale:

Clive cannot retain any memory of passing events or experience and, in addition, has lost most of the memories of events and experiences preceding his encephalitis—how, then, does he retain his remarkable knowledge of music, his ability to sight-read, play the piano and organ, sing, and conduct a choir in the masterly way he did before he became ill?

Compact Disc is 25 Years Old

The first ones were produced aug. 17, 1982. And the “first CD to be manufactured at the plant was ‘The Visitors’ by ABBA.”
And how long will this format last?

G-Shot Tornado

Did FZ see it coming all those years ago? The G-Shot:

By 4 p.m. she sat inside Dr. Justin Salerno’s office, readying to become the surgeon’s first patient to receive an injection called a G-Shot, also known as G-spot Amplification. With a 3 1/2-inch needle, Salerno pumped a small dose of collagen into his patient’s Grafenberg Spot and made it swell to the size of a quarter.

Darwin Who?

Yes Yes! The earth is flat, the entire universe revolves around it, and there is no way we could have evolved from apes. About time you turn in your common sense for some groovy Creationism! See also.

Hawking’s Zero-Gravity Flight

hawking-in-space.jpg

Doesn’t he look like one happy space cadet?

“It was amazing,” Prof Hawking said after the flight. “The zero-G part was wonderful and the higher-G part was no problem. I could have gone on and on. Space, here I come!” he said.

Homme Petit d’Homme

I’ve been scratching my chin for ten minutes now, trying to decipher this poem:

Homme petit d’homme petit, s’attend, n’avale
Homme petit d’homme petit, à degrés de bègues folles
Anal deux qui noeuds ours, anal deux qui noeuds s’y mènent
Coup d’un poux tome petit tout guetteur à gaine

“Do you recognize this passage? No? Try reading it aloud. Cognitive scientists use it to illustrate the complexity of human communications.”

Nope. Still don’t get it. Maybe I should try reading it aloud with an English accent…

Chameleon

And you thought Zelig was fiction? Think again:

When with doctors, AD assumes the role of a doctor; when with psychologists he says he is a psychologist; at the solicitors he claims to be a solicitor. AD doesn’t just make these claims, he actually plays the roles and provides plausible stories for how he came to be in these roles.

I’d love to know what happens when he’s in the presence of a rabbi…

Fundies Say The Darndest Things!

… and when they do, you can be sure there’s a website devoted to it. Some quotes? Hang on to your pointed stick:

  • “A person who sold a slave did not make God sick like watching two men do it.”
  • “But God don’t talk in Arabic. He talks in a REAL language, namely, English. It’s true that back in them days He translated that to some other language after Speaking it in English, but after all, it’s His universe and He can do what He doggone well wants to do.”
  • “I appreciate your recommendation, and it is intriguing, but as a pro-lifer, I cannot support an organization that is opposed to the death penalty.”
  • “I am a bit troubled. I believe my son has a girlfriend, because she left a dirty magazine with men in it under his bed. My son is only 16 and I really don’t think he’s ready to date yet. What’s worse is that he’s sneaking some girl to his room behind my back. I need help, God! I want my son to stop being so secretive!”
  • “I can sum it all up in three words: Evolution is a lie”

Giant Steps

The John Coltrane classic, as played by… a robot:

Oh, and they conduct orchestra’s as well, apparently. Crazy.

Inside The Hungarian Psyche

Group Hug!

Introducing someone as a ‘friend’ communicates more commitment to the Hungarian than what you probably mean using this word, especially if you come from the American culture. It takes time for someone to call you his friend in Hungary, and if it happens, you are one of the few chosen ones. Americans tend to have a low wall on the outside, and a higher one on the inside. Hungarians have a higher wall on the outside, but once you are in, you are in.

For more, spend some time perusing this indispensible guide to the Inner Hungarian. :)

Yellow Snow

Stranger than fiction:

Snow ranging in colour from light yellow to orange and carrying a distinctive “musty” odour was observed yesterday in five districts of Omsk province, which lies in western Siberia and borders Kazakhstan.

Ain’t no Huskie wee-wee either, methinks…

Dangerously Fun

One can only imagine what would’ve happened, had young FZ had an internet connection, and stumbled upon this. :)