“Don’t waste any more of your valuable time digging deep into the depths of your soul to tell your family off. Instead, let me do all the hard work for you. You just sit back, take a load off.”–The Dysfunctional Family Letter Generator
Category: Bizarre
Busted
You have been busted on Black Planet. Oh no!
Yoko’s Birthday Card
Birthday cards to the stars. This one, to Yoko Ono, is filled with love: “P.S. I swear, Yoko, if you do anything whatsoever to break up Coldplay, I’m gonna go apeshit. Ya got that? Go break up Blink 182. They suck.”
Like, A Scrotum
Aaaaaaaargh! Here’s to crossing my legs for the rest of the day.
Poop For Peace
And now for some real poop: “Empathy through excrement. Brotherhood through bowel movement. Utopia through undulating butt pythons. Today, April 16, 2004, war is over — if you grunt it.”
“Burned-out Chickadee Sandwich
Get to know the story of Lulu, Nellie, Jack and Jill, who were rehabilitated for society at Mr. Croner’s farm, and were having a life of service to their community, but now their lives are in danger. Chicken, run!!
Modified
We’ve had the Modified Dog, onward to the Modified Librarian (ssshh, she said?).
Wino Man
“After several of these bizarre calls, whoever it was began to have actual conversations with me. He never identified himself, but it was apparent by the sound of his voice that this was no little kid. This was a grown man, probably in his forties or fifties, who was quite likely completely insane.”
Bovine Perspiration
“While using the Bovine Rectal Palpation Simulator the student palpates virtual objects resembling parts of the reproductive tract inside the rear-half of a fibreglass cow.”