First Church of Zuppuology

Church of Zuppuology 2
R. Gayle Shiester:

Welcome to the First Church of Zuppuology!

Don’t you be Tarot-fied
We are here to help you fill the cultural vacuum
Don’t you be Tarot-fied
Just pay your dues to the estate of the founder

FRONK ZUPPU!!! FRONK ZUPPU!!!

Don’t try to look behind his eyes
(They are made of paper and/or pixels)
You don’t wanna know what he has seen
Don’t you ever try to look behind his eyes
(They are made of paper and/or pixels)
You don’t ever wanna know what they have seen

Only the First Church of Zuppuology knows the truth of Zuppu
Only We know the true way to Zuppu knowledge
Don’t mess with Zuppu blasphemy and Zuppu heretics
But follow the true path of Zuppu to Laurel Canyon

Zuppu Freak:

Oh Mystical Advisor
What is my problem, tell me
Can you see?

R. Gayle Shiester:

Well, you have nothing to fear, my son!
You are a Latent Litigation Fetishist,
It appears to me!

Zuppu Freak:

That all seems very, very strange
I have never craved a lawyer
Or been on a jury before

R. Gayle Shiester:

A Latent Litigation Fetishist
Is a person who refuses to admit to his or herself
That sexual gratification can only be achieved
Through the use of THE LAW . . .
Get the picture?

Zuppu Freak:

Are you telling me
I should go into a courtroom now
Mr. Gayle?

R. Gayle Shiester:

No, my son!
You must go into
BERGER KAHN
(the Club)

Zuppu Freak:

What?

R. Gayle Shiester:

And you will have

Zuppu Freak:

Eh?

R. Gayle Shiester:

A lot of fun!
That’s where they all live . . .
So if you want a
Lawyer to love you
You’ll have to go in there
‘N get you one

Zuppu Freak:

That seems simple enough . . .

R. Gayle Shiester:

But if you want a really GOOD one,
You’ll have to learn a foreign language . . .

Zuppu Freak:

German, for instance?

R. Gayle Shiester:

That’s right . . .
A lot of really cute ones come from over there!
These lawyers really go for a guy dressed up like a tribute band who can speak German (you know what I mean) . . .
(Fifty bucks, please)

Inside BERGER KAHN:

Little ugly lawyers dance around with tribute bands with names like Protect/Object, Kilt Ugly Ratio, Bogus Pimps, Muffled Men and Shocked Yembouties . . . and when Zuppu freak sees this one lawyer, with an enormous supeonas covered with . . . he BURSTS INTO SONG . . .

Before leaving the First Church of Zuppuology . . . and for small introductory fee . . . you can briefly enter the Ye Old Vault itself and stand in the very presence of an actual replica of the guitar that Hundrox gave Zuppu as a gift . . . also be awed by our newly renovated Utility Music Research Kitchenette — now completely redesigned and automated in line with our new corporate philosophy: Attack Anyone at Anytime For No Reason At All. Then relax in our new lounge PEW 38 and refresh yourself with a nice Freak Up Ale or a Kill Ugly Stout, before stopping by our friendly store to buy your entire family a Fronk Zuppu T-Shirt (comes in all sizes and made with care by happy Honduran workers), Portrait-sized jigsaw puzzles and posters of our founder . . . Pay toilets available in the atrium, just ask our lovely hostess Lucille for change.

kill ugly stout small

All terrestrial, extraterrestrial, and interdimensional rights reserved from this moment until the end of time itself. All music, art, images, text and other content are vicariously copyrighted for the world & the universe & beyond © The First Church of Zuppuology (unless otherwise noted). Zuppu, Fronk Zuppu & The Virgin Beard and other various hairs as of yet not grown are marks belonging to the First Church of Zuppuology. All Rights Reserved. Register & Vote for Hillary. Free Buttons for members.

Zuppu himself

This post is copyleft.

21 Responses to “First Church of Zuppuology”

  1. Jeff says:

    Christ! This site is so boring since the cease and desist letter. Stop wining and go back to posting the friday boots.

  2. urbangraffito says:

    A quote from Jeff:

    Christ! This site is so boring since the cease and desist letter. Stop wining and go back to posting the friday boots.

    Go forth to Zuppu dot com, Jeff, that’s where you’ll find ‘em now (remember to vote for Hillary).

  3. rob says:

    I don’t want Barry to get in trouble, but I must agree with Jeff!

  4. bill says:

    I’ll go the other way and say that that post is hilarious! In the immortal words of Homer Simpson “It’s funny ’cause it’s true”

  5. Dr Sharleena says:

    Touch The Screen And Heal, You Sinners!
    I propose a toast:

    You can find it on eBay for only $20.000 (shipping not included).
    God Bless The First Church of Zuppuology!

  6. HairFarmer says:

    Are you sure you can even do this?
    I mean That Zuppu guy wrote songs that were parodies. Therefore the Zuppu Famailiar Trist owns the art of parody and can sue you for using their intellectual property. Better be careful.

  7. Sunrise Redeemer says:

    Wow there’s hardly anything music to do since they made fun illegal…

  8. xorg says:

    Fridays just don’t seem the same somehow…

  9. Jamez says:

    A quote from Sunrise Redeemer:

    Wow there’s hardly anything music to do since they made fun illegal…

    i’m so bored I’m drunk on Smirnoff vodka

  10. scott says:

    feh!

  11. urbangraffito says:

    A quote from HairFarmer:

    Are you sure you can even do this?
    I mean That Zuppu guy wrote songs that were parodies. Therefore the Zuppu Famailiar Trist owns the art of parody and can sue you for using their intellectual property. Better be careful.

    I am exercising my right to “Freak Out.” If that has become illegal, then we are living in a very sad world, indeed.

  12. bernard says:

    On undesirable copyright legislation( in UK):
    http://johnsonsrambler.wordpress.com/
    ” Plans are afoot – once again! – to extend performer’s rights in recordings from 50 to 95 years. The BBC quotes Roger Daltrey’s approval, voiced a while ago, of such a scheme. But unless such an extension is retroactively applied (which would be an even greater lunacy) it’s hard to see how he would benefit without, you know, releasing any new records…..”

  13. brett says:

    A quote from Jeff:

    Christ! This site is so boring since the cease and desist letter. Stop whining and go back to posting the friday boots.

    I agree. Barry, call Gail’s bluff. Do you really think she will sue? Have you sent the petition (with signatures) to Gail? Try to get a response from her (good luck!) Otherwise, let’s move on and get back to discussing Zappa (Frank, not Gail)

  14. scott says:

    A quote from brett:

    A quote from Jeff:

    Christ! This site is so boring since the cease and desist letter. Stop whining and go back to posting the friday boots.

    I agree. Barry, call Gail’s bluff. Do you really think she will sue? Have you sent the petition (with signatures) to Gail? Try to get a response from her (good luck!) Otherwise, let’s move on and get back to discussing Zappa (Frank, not Gail)

    Kill Ugly Radio – the first anti-Frank Zappa Frank Zappa website.

  15. Alex says:

    I agree with Brett. The ZFT engages in bullying without any action to back it up.
    Remember: ‘Tis better to ask forgiveness than to beg for permission.

  16. Roland says:

    Well done, urbangrafitto – once again I had a good and bitter laugh. And it get´s not boring, the topic is still valid. It´s just, that many people tend to forget very easily – like so many human beeings – that they are ripped off! People are cattle. They don´t want to be confronted with negative things. Pass them a tablet. Let them be happy.

  17. urbangraffito says:

    A quote from Jeff:

    Christ! This site is so boring since the cease and desist letter. Stop wining and go back to posting the friday boots.

    A quote from rob:

    I don’t want Barry to get in trouble, but I must agree with Jeff!

    A quote from xorg:

    Fridays just don’t seem the same somehow…

    A quote from Jamez:

    A quote from Sunrise Redeemer:

    Wow there’s hardly anything music to do since they made fun illegal…

    i’m so bored I’m drunk on Smirnoff vodka

    A quote from scott:

    A quote from brett:

    A quote from Jeff:

    Christ! This site is so boring since the cease and desist letter. Stop whining and go back to posting the friday boots.

    I agree. Barry, call Gail’s bluff. Do you really think she will sue? Have you sent the petition (with signatures) to Gail? Try to get a response from her (good luck!) Otherwise, let’s move on and get back to discussing Zappa (Frank, not Gail)

    Kill Ugly Radio – the first anti-Frank Zappa Frank Zappa website.

    A quote from Alex:

    I agree with Brett. The ZFT engages in bullying without any action to back it up.
    Remember: ‘Tis better to ask forgiveness than to beg for permission.

    Amazing. So much boredom and really not a single constructive suggestion as to what or to where KUR should be going as a weblog. Here’s your chance, people (I’m sure Barry is all ears…)

  18. Jamez says:

    A quote from urbangraffito:

    A quote from Jeff:

    Christ! This site is so boring since the cease and desist letter. Stop wining and go back to posting the friday boots.

    A quote from rob:

    I don’t want Barry to get in trouble, but I must agree with Jeff!

    A quote from xorg:

    Fridays just don’t seem the same somehow…

    A quote from Jamez:

    A quote from Sunrise Redeemer:

    Wow there’s hardly anything music to do since they made fun illegal…

    i’m so bored I’m drunk on Smirnoff vodka

    A quote from scott:

    A quote from brett:

    A quote from Jeff:

    Christ! This site is so boring since the cease and desist letter. Stop whining and go back to posting the friday boots.

    I agree. Barry, call Gail’s bluff. Do you really think she will sue? Have you sent the petition (with signatures) to Gail? Try to get a response from her (good luck!) Otherwise, let’s move on and get back to discussing Zappa (Frank, not Gail)

    Kill Ugly Radio – the first anti-Frank Zappa Frank Zappa website.

    A quote from Alex:

    I agree with Brett. The ZFT engages in bullying without any action to back it up.
    Remember: ‘Tis better to ask forgiveness than to beg for permission.

    Amazing. So much boredom and really not a single constructive suggestion as to what or to where KUR should be going as a weblog. Here’s your chance, people (I’m sure Barry is all ears…)

    Answer: More Zappa related stuff for FZ fans that Gail can’t touch. Also info on Zappa related artists e.g. Beefheart, Terry Bozzio, Ray White etc.! Oh yeah, and maybe something on The Tubes!

  19. brett says:

    Here’s a constructive suggestion:
    Go back to the way it used to be. Gail will not sue. I doubt she even knew about the cease and desist letter. If I’m wrong, then every post can be about being sued (win, win)

  20. urbangraffito says:

    Amazing.
    Truly amazing.
    In a little over 14 short years the ZFT has reduced the life and works of one FZ into a brand through which to sell whatever they please — CDs, DVDs, T-Shirts, Jigsaw puzzles, Vault tours, headwear, books, beers — and through the course of the last few US Presidential campaigns, even politicians: using the name, likeness, music of FZ, and money generated by his fanbase to do so.
    What is next, I wonder? I dare not. Will FZ’s name, likeness, and music sell everything from running shoes to department store guitars (is that a real FZ guitar, or a Sears guitar?) to fragrances to soap?
    Still, what bothers me most is the consistent use of FZ’s name, likeness, and music by the ZFT to promote their own political agenda and particular candidate. In all the years that FZ promoted voting among his fanbase, not once did he ever tell that fanbase who to vote for — just to think for themselves and “do something.” By using FZs name, likeness, and music in this manner, they are betraying everything the man supposedly stood for while he was alive.
    Excuse me. The bile is backing up.
    Must call a plumber (or a flake).

  21. Jamez says:

    A quote from urbangraffito:

    Amazing.
    Truly amazing.
    In a little over 14 short years the ZFT has reduced the life and works of one FZ into a brand through which to sell whatever they please — CDs, DVDs, T-Shirts, Jigsaw puzzles, Vault tours, headwear, books, beers — and through the course of the last few US Presidential campaigns, even politicians: using the name, likeness, music of FZ, and money generated by his fanbase to do so.
    What is next, I wonder? I dare not. Will FZ’s name, likeness, and music sell everything from running shoes to department store guitars (is that a real FZ guitar, or a Sears guitar?) to fragrances to soap?
    Still, what bothers me most is the consistent use of FZ’s name, likeness, and music by the ZFT to promote their own political agenda and particular candidate. In all the years that FZ promoted voting among his fanbase, not once did he ever tell that fanbase who to vote for — just to think for themselves and “do something.” By using FZs name, likeness, and music in this manner, they are betraying everything the man supposedly stood for while he was alive.
    Excuse me. The bile is backing up.
    Must call a plumber (or a flake).

    You ask ‘em when the Roxy DVD is coming out..’well, it was eaten by snakes!’ You can stab, and shoot and spit, but they won’t release it!