Of course you’re not the kind of person to lust over animated cartoon girls, but anyway…
Category: Sex
Here Boy
Dogtoy or Marital aid: “You successfully identified 10 out of 14 items. You may be trusted with my dog.”
Under The Bench
“Visitors to Thompson’s Creek County courtroom reported hearing a ‘swooshing’ sound coming from the bench, a noise the court reporter said sounded like a blood pressure cuff being pumped up.” Oh my.
Busted
You have been busted on Black Planet. Oh no!
Porn Wars II
Forget the War On Terror, enter The War On Porn: “Lam Nguyen’s job is to sit for hours in a chilly, quiet room devoid of any color but gray and look at pornography. This job, which Nguyen does earnestly from 9 to 5, surrounded by a half-dozen other “computer forensic specialists” like him, has become the focal point of the Justice Department’s operation to rid the world of porn.” Mmm, weapons of mass distraction…
Snork
Finally, a way to have sex and look like an idiot: “The Pussy Snorkel allows a man to continue breathing while performing oral sex on a woman in a spa, bathtub or even a bowl of green Jell-O.”
Head
Most people don’t know it, but the blowjob was invented in 1972.