Author: Lonesome Cowboy Squirt

“His play wasn’t a success, but his thunder effect was, and other producers started borrowing this idea. Every time he would encounter someone using his effect he would accuse them of “stealing his thunder,” and that’s how that expression came into the English language.” This anecdote, among others, is a part of the history of a dying breed known as the foley artist. Check out the art of sound effects!

If you’re a recording artist, it’s good to know safety at the beach.

Hiroshima mon amour…

….and while we’re at it, we should remember a couple of other unspeakable acts.

Now, it’s pretty clear to all of us that Frank Zappa made concerted efforts to question authority. Yet another individual was also famous for questioning authority, on his own terms: Dr. Timothy Leary. I’ve discovered a recipe from the doctor himself ideal for those dedicated to those questioning authority under such terms. Add this little dish to your current Zappa-authority-questioning-type-of-meal, consisting of a strong cup of coffee and two or three Winstons, and you can start keeping score!

Remember how some folks wanted to get rid of Clinton because he put that cigar where shouldn’t have? I think those guys need to get their priorities straight. A “preemptive war” seems to me like a more serious offense. George W. Bush must answer to the people! Here’s a suggestion for those of you displeased with his actions. Let’s at least try to pretend America still exercises democracy.

This right here looks like it’s the closest thing to what Frank Zappa would ever consider a religion. Who knows? Maybe he’s an honorary member. Heed and obey the Commandments of the Coffee Clan!

At long last! Frank Zappa saw the humor in certain DEVICES long ago. Finally, other artists have followed suit!

Tired of that same old routine in bed? Is your spouse or partner becoming a bore? Looking for something to perk up that ol’ sofa? Need to cuddle up to something warm, soft and fuzzy? Well, well, well…This should do the trick.

An eighty year old butt is not what it used to be. Now you can pep up the ol’ gluteus maximus with some implants. Yow! Science!

It looks like Spring is here. Looking for that special fashion trend that’ll have everyone staring in awe? Did you think edible underwear was very hip? Well, get ready for the barbecue season! This year’s gonna be happening!

I recently shared this with SOFA and in his maroon, cushioned greatness, he suggested I dish it out for all the Hot Poopers.

Okay, a little background info: I received one of those fraud-type-letters-promising-enormous-riches almost identical to the very first entry. With a healthy dose of skepticism, I used a search engine to find out more info about a Pedro F. Hasler, and discovered this funny exchange. I know, there’s a lot to read there, but it’s worth it. C’mon, it’s the weekend.

Okay, now I’m mad. I think I’m gonna have to hurt someone for this blasphemous act.

Where is this all going? If you thought the Carrot Auction was weird, get a load of this. Yes, you read right, buy the rights to a Boob Diary.

I first met her in college. Believe it or not, my music professor introduced us. She’s charming, articulate, and so absurd she’s almost a work of artistic genius (but not quite). If you haven’t already been introduced, meet Virginia!

Okay, people, it’s time to get busy with some upward mobility. This one’s for all you aspiring cosmetic surgeons. That’s right, it’s the Spice Girls Face Lift!