Ten sticky and nicely blasphemous things true patriots can do right now to help keep America free: “I have compiled this short list. Things you can do, right now, this minute, to feel more connected and support the nation sans money or blood or prefabricated force-fed rage, and more fully lick the fingertips of your fervent unrequited patriotism in this time of need. Call it a checklist. Call it a spiritual perspective frappé. SUV antenna flags not included.”