Frankie's Greatest Hits #8

[Frankie]

Gee, I really hate to break the solitude - but:
That's right, you heard right, it's time for another blast from the past...
Hope you like it.
Thanks for reading,
Frankie

Poodle Business
Posted by Wino Man on 8/9/2000
Having read the somewhat bizarre "Arf Arf Arf" section on this site, I came to wonder: what is your affinity with animals Frankie? You seem to have a peculiar affection for the canine species, in particular the poodle. I'm somewhat puzzled as to the meaning of this poodle business.
Wino Man (off to loose control over my body functions on a roller headed lady's front lawn)

Posted by Frankie on 8/9/2000, in reply
Dear Mr. Man (assuming Wino is your first name),
I hope I can clear this up for you. I am not particularly fascinated with animals. The "Arf" page at this site, which you mentioned, is fascinating - but have you read some of those? Puhlease! They're stretching some of it well past the point of making sense! I'd better stop now; I wouldn't want to BITE the hand that feeds me... heh heh, heh heh heh!
(Frankie pauses until his laughter subsides)
Sorry WM, I couldn't resist that one.
Let me reiterate; I am not fascinated, obsessed with any animals - poodles, pigs, ponies, or otherwise. Those things simply lend continuity to the overall body of work. I used "Louie Louie" a lot in my music too, yet it doesn't garner near the attention (make that scrutiny) that poodle references do. And you want to know why? Because instrumental music is irrelevant in our society. Because of that, I was forced to create lyrics to plop on top of my compositions. Now I have said this before: my lyrics are for entertainment purposes only - not to be taken internally (could someone out there pass this little bit on to Ben Watson? Nice guy, but he sees a routine enema as an example of the marketing evils behind the plumbing industry). Now I'm sure a Wino Man such as you is accustomed to pouring just about anything down his gullet. DO NOT do that with my lyrics! Most of them are truly stupid - and that's the way I like it...
But I haven't really answered your "question". Let me start by paraphrasing Biff Debris, in "Uncle Meat": "a bird, a sock, a foaming beaker - anything can be music". I am a composer of music. Sometimes I use things other than musical instruments to create a composition. If the human voice can convey an idea better than an instrument, that's what I'll use. I may be forced to use lyrics, but I might as well have fun in the meantime, right?
So, why use the poodle? Why not? (Ya know, I mention office furniture a lot in my songs and no one notices). Think of it this way: A. Conan Doyle developed a character - Sherlock Holmes. Now, Doyle created other characters (he even wrote outside the "detective" genre), but Holmes unifies his body of work. I don't have the time or space to fully explain "Project/Object" to you (it's well documented). I have always considered my total body of work - music, film, writings, etc. - as one "object". Poodles, pigs, and ponies merely bring continuity to the object; much like cheap wine and wetting yourself brings continuity to your existence...
Thanks for writing,
Frankie

[Z Woof]

Yo Bro Wino,

You say, "Poodles have me pondering." 8/9/00

Well I thought about this for 4 years and right off the top of my head I think I can straighten you out.

Think of propaganda, or a plate full of poot.  Now visualize a poodle or a walking trimmed hedge taking a great big bite and then chewing kinda Frenchlike.  Sure its mind stuffin nuttin.  

It was all explained to me by my sales manager when I worked for Richard Simmons.  Boy did she teach me how to hoze fat women in Romanian.  She was captain of the Romanian Olympic rowing team.  She said, "Rhonnn, you must be like Z Woof."  At first I didn't understand but those days of confusion are over now, finally.  She also said, "Rhonnn, look at all the little piggies, it's like a mountain of money."  Sure Romania is the home town of the vampires but she was always right.  That's why she ran Chicago Health Clubs and Denver's Holidays and both cities Richard Simmons clubs.  Sure she brought in a couple of million dollars a week.  But she also said, "Close the lights."  

Albert Einstein said, "There are only 2 things in the universe that are infinate.  One is the universe itself and the other is human ignorance.  And we are not sure about the universe anymore."  Didn't FZ say, "You are dumb all over?"  Sorry Wino, Albert and FZ were talking about [YOU].  

I think of you as a super computer Wino.  I was informed by a Brain Surgeon (BS).  BS says you have simply had faulty programming from years of mind numbing propaganda or Cosmic Debris.  But Hitler's guy, Geobbels, said, "Der propagander is blown away so snellingly with der troof."

Sure current USA propaganda is so thick you could cut it with a knife.  Sure the Cosmic Debri is causing citizens strife.  Sure when I inform the globe it will be global de-lite.  But currently the bewilderment is kinda nice.  I'm a professional salzman so I only think of bambooSOLD you in this poot for poot fight.  Why?  Because I'm only in it for the money, capiss?

Here is a clue Wino Man.  On 12/16/2004, the 60th anniversary of the "Battle of the Bulge" (Fat term), President Bush said, "I just enrolled in a Tax Free HSA."  The Prez also said, "We need to let younger workers have the option of Tax Free PSAs in Social Security (SS)."  Collectively, the tax free HSA and PSA are the President's Ownership Society (OZ).  So just ask yourself this question Wino Man, "Would you rather live in a land of OZ or would you prefer Jack Booted NAZI SS Storm Troopers?"  Take your TIME.  Hey Wino Man, you can cut off my head but you can't change my mind.

Hey Wino, I strive to bring Clarity to your Complexity, for free I might add.

Hey Wino Man, there is a free lunch, we are eating it now, you poodle, may I get you a napkin?

Remember Wino, Cosmic Debris is so weak the slightest breeze will blow it away.  And the troof is like Hurricain Andrew, level 5.  When the poot is replaced the Zombie troof will stay.  Particularly in Florida where the palm trees sway.  Go Jeb go.

Tipper Gore is the most dangerous woman on the planet.      

[Noolie]

therefore Zappa sings about poodles?