Deliverance

Cue dueling banjos! (via)

39 Responses to “Deliverance”

  1. SOFA - Philostopher/Chef says:

    Better yet, cue Paul & Storm:

    Five o’ clock, Friday, I can hear the whistle blowin’
    Got a 6:30 barbecue, and all my boys are showin’ up:
    Skeeter, Cooter, Billy Ray and Bobby Ray and Billy Bob
    We got a pig in the ground, but can’t remember where we buried it
    So we load up the truck with all the bourbon we can carry
    And we kill another hour shootin’ BBs at the neighbor’s dog

    Somebody throws a punch and my buddies get to brawlin’
    But I can hear the honky-tonk ’n’ señoritas callin’
    We pile into the pickup, do some donuts on the lawn
    You’ll find us in the mornin’ when the money’s all gone

    We’ll be covered in piss and stinkin’ to the heavens
    Sleepin’ in the dumpster out behind the 7-’leven
    Our underwear is lyin’ in the middle of the road and
    I’m bleedin’ from a head wound, swellin’ in the scrotum
    Got the shakes, DTs, gonorrhea and the trots
    And a tattoo on my buttocks in the shape o’ Don Knotts
    Everybody runs when we make it on the scene—
    Six guys, ten teeth and one brain between us

    ’bout 11:30, and we’re feelin’ kinda down
    ’cause we already been booted outta every bar in town
    So we hang out by the school and watch the cuties leave the junior prom
    Me and both the Billys wanna see some nekkid ladies
    But the Hooter Hut is closed, Double D’s is overrated
    So we hit the Jiggly Wiggly, where the headliner is Bobby Ray’s mom

    Things are goin’ good ’til a stripper starts to holler
    After Skeeter started diggin’ round for change for his dollar
    Stripper throws a punch, Skeeter’s laid out on the floor
    We prob’ly oughta help him, but we’re runnin’ out the door

    We’ll be covered in piss and stinkin’ to the heavens
    Sleepin’ in the dumpster out behind the 7-’leven
    Our underwear is lyin’ in the middle of the road and
    I’m bleedin’ from a head wound, swellin’ in the scrotum
    Got a squirrel and a stop sign hangin’ from my bumper
    And a feelin’ like a roman candle burnin’ in my dumper
    A more pathetic sight you ain’t never ever seen—
    Six guys, ten teeth and one brain between us

    Four in the mornin’, and they kicked us outta Denny’s
    So we motor to the Mini-Mart and spend our last twenty
    On a Molly Hatchet tape, a stack o’ Swank, and seven packs o’ chaw
    Cooter’s is in the swimmin’ pool that he just drove the truck in
    Billy Bob is passed out, Billy Ray is upchuckin’
    And I’m crappin’ in the parking lot behind the VFW Hall

    Sheriff pulls up and we’re headin’ for the station
    But Cooter’s dad’s a judge, so we get off with probation
    If you wanna separate the girlies from the men
    We’ll see you next Friday when we do it all again

    We’ll be covered in piss and stinkin’ to the heavens
    Sleepin’ in the dumpster out behind the 7-’leven
    Our underwear is lyin’ in the middle of the road and
    I’m bleedin’ from a head wound, swellin’ in the scrotum
    Got the clap, dry heaves, Montezuma’s and the shivers
    Pukin’ on my Tony Lamas, coughin’ up my liver
    If you can bail Skeeter out, then you can join the team
    Six guys, ten teeth and one brain between us
    Don’t need any manners, common sense or self-esteem
    Six guys, ten teeth and one brain between us
    All you need’s an attitude, a pickup and a penis
    Six guys, ten teeth and one brain between us

  2. Geoff says:

    Is that Julian Lennon driving the ATV?

  3. Virgil Proudfoot says:

    Believe it or not, there really are people like this here in the US of A. They vote, and they are armed. One of them shot and killed two people and wounded several others in a Unitarian Universalist church in the mid-sized southern town where I live, less than two miles from my house. The killer said he was hunting liberals because they’ve screwed up the country. Police later found books by Sean Hannity, Ann Coulter, etc., in his “library.”

    People literally risk their lives when they put Obama signs in their front yard here.

  4. gnarly artly says:

    It’s also very funny that people like this are often behind the “Make English the Official Language in America” movement. I’m not sure what language that was, but it was pretty far from English!

  5. Fred Kite says:

    A brilliant smear job on blue collar white America. This was a Obama-maniac wet dream of a clip. All that was missing was the guns and the rottweilers.

    Meanwhile here is a clip of a some Obama fans who have discovered they can’t keep up with their sub-prime loans.
    http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=YDU1LMAMfeo&feature=related

  6. Chris says:

    A quote from Fred Kite:

    Meanwhile here is a clip of a some Obama fans who have discovered they can’t keep up with their sub-prime loans.
    http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=YDU1LMAMfeo&feature=related

    Um…what’s your point, other than displaying your blatant racism?

    At least the toothless rednecks were actually referencing Obama in their video.

  7. Barry's Imaginary Publisher says:

    What Chris said. Also:

    A quote from Fred Kite:

    A brilliant smear job on blue collar white America.

    This, to you represents blue collar white America? You’re kidding, right? Delusional maybe?

    A quote from Fred Kite:

    Meanwhile here is a clip of a some Obama fans who have discovered they can’t keep up with their sub-prime loans.

    Wow. Congratulations. Here’s your “White Power” badge. May it serve you well. Now get the fuck off my lawn.

  8. urbangraffito says:

    I think I have managed to keep out of the debate concerning the upcoming US election here at KUR pretty well, but recent comments have made me emerge from my self-imposed shell and say that some of them really border on stereotypes of the American South, if not out-right racism. If we are going to discuss the election, the American people, then let us toss out a wider net for our information beyond the superficial and exploitive sound bites found on the biased US media.

    For my part, I submit the following video, “Cottenseed” by the Drive-By Truckers as a picture of the actual “South” as told by “The New South”:

    http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=jxzDB6Sb_xM

    Now make sure to have your sarcasm goggles on tight, folks!

  9. mike says:

    A quote from Fred Kite:

    … smear job on blue collar white America….

    Doesn’t being “blue collar” (which is short for blue collar worker) imply that they work?

  10. Fred Kite says:

    Interesting how liberal prejudice works – racism is a no no but heaping hatred on white working class people because of their “guns n religion” is apparently OK.

    Slight contradiction in standard liberal thinking here surely. Everyone is equal. Except of course white working class Americans who are too dumb to realise that.

  11. Harmless Ted says:

    LOL, nice video… America the Beautiful!

  12. xorg says:

    There’s ignorant, uneducated people everywhere whether they are blue-collar, white-collar, black, white or Presidential candidates – or actually Presidents. No arbitrarily defined social group has a monopoly on stupidity either! What makes a difference in my view is whether or not you as an individual are prepared to admit that you might not be right all the time, and acknowledge that you can always learn more about yourself and other people.

  13. urbangraffito says:

    A quote from Fred Kite:

    Interesting how liberal prejudice works – racism is a no no but heaping hatred on white working class people because of their “guns n religion” is apparently OK.

    Slight contradiction in standard liberal thinking here surely. Everyone is equal. Except of course white working class Americans who are too dumb to realise that.

    Bzzzzzzz. BZZZZZZZ. Bzzzzzzzzzz. bzzzzzzzz.

    Barry, who let all the Buzz Words into the room? “liberal prejudice”, “white working class Americans”, “white working class people”. Did I click my mouse the wrong way and wind up at the Horizon Front website instead?

  14. Fred Kite says:

    Xorg says that “no arbitrarily defined social group has a monopoly on stupidity either!”
    Tell that to the poster who put up the Deliverance clip. Try suggesting to them that many southern working class whites may have perfectly sound, legitimate and well thought out reasons for not voting for Obama and see where gets you.
    The very people who rail about “racist stereotypes” are the first to cackle when they see the same techniques aimed at a group they hate.
    Like most bigotry the left-wing variety is about status and the determination to prove how much cleverer and higher status, liberals are compared to other people.
    As establishment beliefs go it is as nasty and irrational as any, but this variant is probably the most intolerant we have ever seen.

  15. Virgil Proudfoot says:

    A quote from Fred Kite:

    Xorg says that “no arbitrarily defined social group has a monopoly on stupidity either!”
    Tell that to the poster who put up the Deliverance clip. Try suggesting to them that many southern working class whites may have perfectly sound, legitimate and well thought out reasons for not voting for Obama and see where gets you.
    The very people who rail about “racist stereotypes” are the first to cackle when they see the same techniques aimed at a group they hate.
    Like most bigotry the left-wing variety is about status and the determination to prove how much cleverer and higher status, liberals are compared to other people.
    As establishment beliefs go it is as nasty and irrational as any, but this variant is probably the most intolerant we have ever seen.

    The reason so many southern whites vote Republican, despite the Republican Party’s desire to drive them even further into poverty, is the fear that somehow, somewhere, a black or Hispanic person might get some kind of help from the government. Believe me, I know this; I grew up in southern Appalachia, and that’s how, by and large, white folks think here.

    They don’t mind losing their own jobs and having no health care, just as long as that means the niggers and spics get driven into poverty as well.

  16. gnarly artly says:

    That lady is going to vote against Obama because of his NAME. That’s it. No race predujice. No hate. He has the same name as Saddam, therefore she thinks terrorists are going to be elected! To me, that’s just f’n hilarious!

  17. Paul Sempschi says:

    These people dont represent anything more than poor ass hicks IMHO, they lack refinement and education to make their stupid points eloquently, like the higher echelons: the middle class, the media pundits and self-riotous University students. Go to slum, anywhere and you will come across such hideous stereotypes that spout ignorant and prejudicial ravings: Detroit and New Jersey come to mind…
    Sure, the South has done a number on the blacks, queers, Jews, etc. but that’s a part of America as a whole, Randy Newman wrote an eloquent song about the subject. But people also forget about how terrible the South had it after the civil war during Reformation times. Northern soldiers looting houses and businesses, as well as the carpet baggers who came in during the power vacuum by the thousands: hocking stolen goods, conning, murdering, stealing and raping Southerners.
    Then various laws were put into place to take away Confederate soldiers’ right to vote, to have a voice in the elitist Eastern-Northern gov.t. Soldiers came in to enforce martial law, abused their power like any occupying force would. These soldiers were predominately black because the area was a dangerous warzone and blacks needed work… sort of like what happened in Canada with the railroads and Chinese immigrants.
    The KKK was set up as a Resistance movement, vigilante justice under the premise that they were protecting their culture and people against Northern soldiers and carpet baggers. This, compiled with a general paranoia against the blacks (who became representative of Northern tyranny), who also just got the vote, whilst the white men just lost theirs lead to some genocidal leanings.
    As far as I know, the resentiment over what was done during Reformation has not gone away in the South. They remain paranoid about the loss of their freedoms and about discrimination by Eastern intellectual elites, though, like the average person, they’re too lazy to actually read up or question their beliefs. It reminds me of urban gangstas, yeah, they do have it rough but they found a way to work with the shit spewed on them and dig in it deeper- IMHO.
    Snoop Dog is the Toby Keith to these people.

    Though I wouldnt vote for Obama (the CFR, conflicts in interest, etc.), I am just baffled by their reasoning but sympathetic to their paranoia and alienation with the government. Oh and yeah, Lester Maddox may have been a segregationalist, it didnt mean he hated blacks, he did a lot for them, he was just opposed to big government dictating culture. Look into it, integration at the expense of black schools that were shut down and black-school teachers that were laid off. Libertarianism makes strange bed-fellows…

  18. Alex says:

    Once again, I apologize on behalf of my country for being full of fuck-tards.

  19. Alex says:

    But in all fairness, our president is a fuck-tard. McCain is a fuck-tard. And Palin is somehow even bigger of a fucking tard than Bush.

  20. urbangraffito says:

    Remember, no matter where you live in the world, when you pull into a gas station, or pay your monthly natural gas bill, we are all Cheney’s niggers now:

    http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=b1o68h4Usqs

  21. Alex says:

    True – and excellent song choice.

  22. Roscoe Bledsoe says:

    Guess it’s time to break out that ‘ol Frank Zappa chestnut about “stupidity being more plentiful than hydrogen”, or as that ‘evil lefty liberal’ Bill Maher calls it: “The United Stupid of America”.
    ——

    (chain smoking will help to kill off these fuckers though–and keep lining corrupt corporate pockets–just as it contributed to the demise of FZ–unfortunately)

  23. gawd says:

    A quote from Alex:

    Once again, I apologize on behalf of my country for being full of fuck-tards.

    I’m sure “your” country is honored to have you speaking on their behalf. As for me, no apologies. The joke is on YOU!

  24. gawd says:

    Amerika v. 6.0 (The Best We Can Do)
    (Steve Earle)

    Look at ya
    Yeah, take a look in the mirror now tell me what you see
    Another satisfied customer in the front of the line for the American dream
    I remember when we was both out on the boulevard
    Talkin’ revolution and singin’ the blues
    Nowadays it’s letters to the editor and cheatin’ on our taxes
    Is the best that we can do
    Come on

    Look around
    There’s doctors down on Wall Street
    Sharpenin’ their scalpels and tryin’ to cut a deal
    Meanwhile, back at the hospital
    We got accountants playin’ God and countin’ out the pills
    Yeah, I know, that sucks – that your HMO
    Ain’t doin’ what you thought it would do
    But everybody’s gotta die sometime and we can’t save everybody
    It’s the best that we can do

    Four score and a hundred and fifty years ago
    Our forefathers made us equal as long as we can pay
    Yeah, well maybe that wasn’t exactly what they was thinkin’
    Version six-point-oh of the American way
    But hey we can just build a great wall around the country club
    To keep the riff-raff out until the slump is through
    Yeah, I realize that ain’t exactly democratic, but it’s either them or us and
    And it’s the best we can do

    Yeah, passionely conservative
    It’s the best we can do

    Conservatively passionate
    It’s the best we can do

    Meanwhile, still thinkin’
    Hey, let’s wage a war on drugs
    It’s the best we can do
    Well, I don’t know about you, but I kinda dig this global warming thing…

  25. Barry's Imaginary Publisher says:

    A quote from Fred Kite:

    Interesting how liberal prejudice works – racism is a no no but heaping hatred on white working class people because of their “guns n religion” is apparently OK.

    Look, Kite, you’re the one that made this into a racial oriented debate. You did so, in an incredibly feeble spin might I add, by linking to a completely unrelated clip of a couple of black girls in a high school fight that had nothing to do with the current election. The very fact that you had to resort to that kind of tactic demonstrates your acute lack of valid arguments.

    The people in the clip above are, pardon me, plain dumb and there is no way you can state the opposite. Your associating them with “blue collar America” is equally dumb. Had they been black, red, green or blue, I would have posted the clip just the same.

    Meanwhile, the Palin Mob is calling for a lynching of Barack “HUSSEIN!!!1 OMG” Obama.

    Put your self-appointed superior intellect aside for a minute if you can for the rest of us, and think about that.

    This is not about race or “blue collar America”, it is about ignorance and fear — which is exactly what the McCain/Palin campaign desperately aims to exploit. Because it’s all they’ve got.

  26. Geoff says:

    A quote from Geoff:

    which is exactly what the McCain/Palin campaign desperately aims to exploit. Because it’s all they’ve got.

    boom……done…..

  27. Clark Gwent says:

    (tiptoes into room, puts “Fred Kite” in google, tiptoes out again…)

  28. urbangraffito says:

    from Sarah Palin post:

    A quote from urbangraffito:

    urbangraffito says:
    September 21st, 2008 at 3:14 pm

    As a life-long anarchist, I have witnessed as voters everywhere (essentially afraid of change and afraid losing whatever they have got) have consistently voted for conservative (or fascist) candidates for decades.

    As the US vote draws ever closer, is it really all that surprising that this kind of rhetoric begins to be spewed? Conservatives have traditionally depended upon fear to galvanize the ignorant, the uninformed, and the uneducated. Just as Liberals have traditionally used the mantra of “change” as some panacea for all of a nation’s woes. Neither are right. Neither deserve your support. Because both are part and parcel of the same corrupt system that consistently limits your choices. If you actually believe that a politician can change anything, you are more deluded than you know. As for this November’s election, I already know the outcome:

    Winner: Big corporate interests.

    Loser: American people.

  29. LRonHoover says:

    i’m ignoring the arguments + allegations of racism, and simply wanted to say that they’re both dirty bastards. look at how barack got himself elected to the IL senate in 96. but that’s fine by me, because my biggest issue is with saber-rattling. there’s no way a guy who sings “Bomb-bomb-bomb Iran” can help improve our relations with other countries, especially ones we have disagreements with. (and don’t bother trying to educate me about BO’s pakistan comment, it wasn’t a threat at all)

    additionally, my old man drops the “N”-word like nobody’s business, and he grew up picking cotton in western Tennessee – but he’s proud to vote for the brother, because in his words: (quote) “F*****’ whiteys have had plenty of at-bats and keep f*****’ things up, we should give a N** a chance at the wheel. who knows? he might be the best damn thing that ever happened to this country.”

    the profound words of my old man (who actually was the one to turn me on to FZ when i was 15, with Apostrophe/OS + WOIIFTM).

  30. Alex says:

    A quote from Alex:

    I’m sure “your” country is honored to have you speaking on their behalf. As for me, no apologies. The joke is on YOU!

    Dear Gawd –
    In the words of Wesley Willis, “Suck a cheetah’s dick.”

    And in the words of Rev. Wright, “God damn America!”

  31. SOFA - Philostopher/Chef says:

    Some perspective:

    A 10 year-old boy goes to his dad and asks, “Daddy, What is Politics ?”

    His Father says, “Well son, that’s a complicated idea behind that word, but let me try to explain it this way:

    I am the leader of the family, so we’d call me The President.

    Your mother is the administrator of the money for the family, so we’d call her the Government.

    Mom & I are here to take care of your needs, so we’d call you the People.

    Your nanny, who does the little daily things to care for you, we’d call her the Working Class.

    And your baby brother, we’d call him the Future.”

    “Think about it that way and see if it makes sense to you.” So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said.

    Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the boy goes to his parent’s room, and finds his mother asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny’s room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole, and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.

    At breakfast the next morning, the boy say’s to his father, “Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now.”

    The father says, “That’s good, son – tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about.”

    The little boy replies, “The President is screwing the Working Class while the Government is sound asleep. The People are being ignored, and the Future is in deep shit.”

  32. Barry's Imaginary Publisher says:

    Lol! Oh, and Daddy forgot to tell the People about his boss: the vice-president.

  33. urbangraffito says:

    A quote from SOFA – Philostopher/Chef:

    “The President is screwing the Working Class while the Government is sound asleep. The People are being ignored, and the Future is in deep shit.”

    I’ve never heard it stated any better, Sofa. Bravo!

  34. gawd says:

    A quote from Alex:

    Dear Gawd -
    In the words of Wesley Willis, “Suck a cheetah’s dick.”

    Are you speaking for all the Wesley’s, some of the Wesley’s or “your” entire (godamned) country this time?

  35. gawd says:

    The Truth
    (Steve Earle)

    In the blue of the evenin’ when the sun is low
    There’s a shadow that creeps across my cell block floor
    And it comes to remind me what I’m in here for

    No, I’m not admittin’ that I done the crime
    I’m only gettin’ down to doin’ time
    And the passin’ of days is no concern of mine

    There’s a guard on the second shift comes on at three
    And he’s always about a half inch off of me
    Like he needs to keep remindin’ me that I’m not free

    God forgive him ’cause he doesn’t see
    He’s no less a prisoner ’cause he holds a key
    And God forbid he turn his back on me

    For every wall you build around your fear
    A thousand darker things are born in here
    And they’re fed on contempt for all that you hold dear

    The truth is it doesn’t matter what you do
    ‘Til you gaze in that mirror with an eye that’s true
    And admit that what scares you is the me in you

  36. Alex says:

    Barry, there’s a Republican in the forums!

  37. gawd says:

    …and admit that what scares you is the me in you

  38. dumb all over says:

    A quote from Alex:

    A quote from dumb all over:

    Dear Gawd -
    In the words of Wesley Willis, “Suck a cheetah’s dick.”

    And in the words of Rev. Wright, “God damn America!”

    Will you please explain to me one more time how this quote thing works. I just can’t seem to get it.

  39. drfaustroll says:

    Hell, I grew up with those people.

    Dumb all over.
    A little ugly on the side.

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