From a certain Zappa-list:
Bought a copy of Sheik’s Rehearsals yesterday on the usually reliable Swingin’ Pig label and am currently enjoying such classics as:
- Hiney, Don’t You Want A Man Like Me?
- Keep It Creasy
- Watermelon In East
- Dinah-Moo Humm
- Little House I Used To Life In
Still, nothing beats my Japanese copy of The Six Wives Of Henry VIII by Rock Wankman.
… and when they do, you can be sure there’s a website devoted to it. Some quotes? Hang on to your pointed stick:
- “A person who sold a slave did not make God sick like watching two men do it.”
- “But God don’t talk in Arabic. He talks in a REAL language, namely, English. It’s true that back in them days He translated that to some other language after Speaking it in English, but after all, it’s His universe and He can do what He doggone well wants to do.”
- “I appreciate your recommendation, and it is intriguing, but as a pro-lifer, I cannot support an organization that is opposed to the death penalty.”
- “I am a bit troubled. I believe my son has a girlfriend, because she left a dirty magazine with men in it under his bed. My son is only 16 and I really don’t think he’s ready to date yet. What’s worse is that he’s sneaking some girl to his room behind my back. I need help, God! I want my son to stop being so secretive!”
- “I can sum it all up in three words: Evolution is a lie”
A layman’s guide to Britain:
People who don’t live in London are called “provincials”, and are not allowed to meet the Queen or get married. Their suicide rate is high.
English vs American humo(u)r? Turns out it’s not at all that different — or so thinks comedian Simon Pegg:
Americans can fully appreciate irony. They just don’t feel entirely comfortable using it on each other, in case it causes damage. A bit like how we feel about guns.
Regardless: I’m pretty sure 99,99% percent of you won’t get this prime example of
Belgian West-Flemish humor… :)
Introducing someone as a ‘friend’ communicates more commitment to the Hungarian than what you probably mean using this word, especially if you come from the American culture. It takes time for someone to call you his friend in Hungary, and if it happens, you are one of the few chosen ones. Americans tend to have a low wall on the outside, and a higher one on the inside. Hungarians have a higher wall on the outside, but once you are in, you are in.
For more, spend some time perusing this indispensible guide to the Inner Hungarian. :)
At Tiny Mixtapes: “songs to lament the fact that Iâ€™ve had my period for 15 days” — including of course Alien Orifice.
Michael Moore to Bush: send even MORE troops (and you go too)!
Another few thousand is simply not enough to find those weapons of mass destruction! Er, I mean… bringing those responsible for 9/11 to justice! Um, scratch that. Try this — BRING DEMOCRACY TO THE MIDDLE EAST! YES!!!
A great idea — oh, and this might help too!
He saves a kitty, the pope (who sounds a lot like FZ), Ren and Stimpy, the President, and the U.S. Constitution and the Bill of Rights! It’s… Powdered Toast Man!
Two college kids get to interview FZ. Exciting! All goes moderately well, and then…
Frank held the album with both hands and glared at it with his beady, black eyes. Clouds of what looked like dry ice vapor seemed to be coming out of his ears.
“Mistah Zappa wanna buy that record from you,” Smothers rasped in my ear.
“That’s a really great album, Frank!” my clueless, yet status-seeking friend remarked.
“How much ya want for it?” Zappa monotoned.
WFMU has mp3’s of Bill Hicks’ “Loses It” show. When Hicks goes after some hecklers, Michael Richards will need to take some notes…
the “Bill Loses It” show also serves as a reminder of how much has changed since 1989. If Hicks had given this performance in a post 9/11 America, he would’ve faced far worse than Michael Richards did when he lost it onstage. Hicks might’ve been deported or jailed.
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, Barry will do anything, and I mean ANYTHING to keep you online this Xmas. Ho Ho Ho!