Shocking outcome in kidnaped chicken case

In a baffling turn of events, Doreen, Joe Travers’ chicken that was apparently kidnaped last week was caught by papparazzi in revealing attire, along with one of her captors. The perpetrators had previously sent a ransom note demanding the famous Vaultmeister release the Roxy dvd, considered the pearl of FZ’s vault-oyster, in exchange for setting her free. Brainwashing? Gigantic hoax? See for yourself. Regardless, Joe can now breathe relieved as life goes on…

6 Responses to “Shocking outcome in kidnaped chicken case”

  1. Barry says:

    Wow, it’s Patti Hearst revisited! That is one brave chicken — although you gotta hand it to Joe T: he’s handled the whole thing with elegance and serenity.
    Tell us Dr, do you think the chick and Joe will ever get back together again?
    Our hearts and minds are with you Joe!

  2. Dr Sharleena says:

    I think so; they belong together like a bum belongs to underwear. Besides, Joe knows Doreen is made of flesh and blood (and grease) like anyone else; he’ll understand, it seems like now he appreciates the importance of a swift release for the ROXY dvd.
    Now it is our responsability to respect their privacy and hope for the best — needless to say, our hearts and minds are with them…

  3. xorg says:

    Ho Ho.
    I was working on a plan to kidnap Joe Travers but I couldn’t think of anyone who’d want him back. Apart from his chicken, maybe.

  4. Duncan says:

    Never mind all this chicken shit…
    About these polls…
    Is it too soon to demand a recount of the last poll?
    Can you clarify the options on the new poll?
    Does purchase online include buying CDs and/or downloading MP3s etc. from iTunes type stores?
    Why is there no Making it myself option or are we only including stuff with commercial potential?
    Bah humbug

  5. Dr Sharleena says:

    Sorry, this is the Really Important Sensitive Issues Office here at KUR. For those matters, please go to the next cubicle, the Scientific Bureaustatistics Research Office. I am afraid you’ll need an E62 form by triplicate to get that information…Some red tape is expected also. Don’t say i didn’t prevent you.
    Next in line, please…

  6. KUR Scientific Bureaustatistics Research Office says:

    “Does purchase online include buying CDs and/or downloading MP3s etc. from iTunes type stores?”
    – does the term “purchase online” exclude any of those options?
    “Why is there no Making it myself option?”
    – you obtain most of the music you like by making it yourself? If so, I’d love to hear it! :)