Hicks Kicks

“I’m so sick of arming the world, then sending troops over to destroy the fucking arms, you know what I mean? We keep arming these little countries, then we go and blow the shit out of them. We’re like the bullies of the world, y’know. We’re like Jack Palance in the movie Shane, throwing the pistol at the sheepherder’s feet.
“Pick it up.”
– “I don’t wanna pick it up, Mister, you’ll shoot me.”
“Pick up the gun.”
– “Mister, I don’t want no trouble. I just came downtown here to get some hard rock candy for my kids, some gingham for my wife. I don’t even know what gingham is, but she goes through about ten rolls a week of that stuff. I ain’t looking for no trouble, Mister.”
“Pick up the gun.”
(He picks it up. Three shots ring out.)
“You all saw him – he had a gun.”

The collected bootlegs of comedian Bill Hicks live shows, available to download for free in mp3 form.

Two days ago, in 1940

“On December 21, 1940, Frank Jr. came into the world – or actually almost didn’t come into the world. Mom was in labor with Frank for thirty-six hours and they both almost died. Frank came into the world butt first, and his umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck. He was already doing things his own way. But with a steady hand and lots of praying and probably an occasionally uttered oath by the attending physician, the umbilical cord was removed from his neck and sometime in the early morning hours Frank Vincent Zappa made his debut at Baltimore’s Mercy Hospital.” (excerpt, and picture of Frank with mom from the book ‘My Brother was a Mother’, by Patrice ‘Candy’ Zappa)