Zappa as make-out music?

[Coktor Dox]

The other night, when I happened to have (Choose One:  1 a succulent fat one, 2 a mod little flat one, 3 a freak who gets off with a strap) as a guest in my bed, I was searching through my CD collection for some "make-out music".  Not owning any Phoebe Snow records, I put on disc 2 of GUITAR.  It seemed appropriate to me, as I can have it on constant repeat all day as atmospheric music.  But not being familar with the phenomenon of the FZ guitar solo, she said her brain couldn't handle it;  she was waiting for the solo to actually end and the non-solo part to resume.  She made me change it to something less aurally intrusive (I eventually opted for "King of Sweet" by His Name Is Alive).  

But enough about my experience...I was wondering if anyone had suggestions/favorite FZ "make-out" records, or even if anyone's ever successfully made-out with FZ playing at all.

[Barry]

"I promise not to come in your mouth" - ZINY. Typically the track title sounds raunchy, and typically, when you actually listen to the music you realize the track title has very little to do with the actual composition. I have found "I promise..." to be a grand make-out piece of music! Try it out some time!

[Lonesome Cowboy Squirt]

I'd say the "Duke of Orchestral Prunes" works pretty well.  "Re-gyptian Strut" and "Black Napkins" are okay too.  When it comes to the songs (with lyrics, that is), it all depends on whether your freak with the strap fetish understands English.  If not, you can get away with stuff like "The Illinois Enema Bandit" or "Lucille Has Messed My Mind Up."  This, of course, is dependent on whether you can control your own laughter.  Now behave yourself.

[Noolie]

It sounds as though you could have thrown a Sy Borg into the mix.  Make sure to wear a condom, or you may be singing your own version of "Why Does it Hurt When I Pee?"
I do agree with your recent trist when she  says she can't listen to Guitar.  I compare Zappa's Guitar releases to be orgasmic, and too much of a good thing gets overwhelming.  I too can put it on as  background music, but can't sit and attentatively listen through 2 or 3 CD's.  Its too much.  When was the last time you had, or could stand a 3 hour blow job?
It's nice to have a refractory corus every now and then.

[sharleena]

I'd say:

-First, for a light dinner calling any vegetables: Blessed relief/ Take your clothes off and dance, specially if she does not know too much  about Zappa;

-Then try a one-tile little dance prior to any further event with Go cry on somebody else's shoulder, Love of my life, or Babette (she'll melt in your arms, i tellya ;

-Now, for when you start kissing the lobule of her ear...Personally, i'm very fonded of the guitar solos; they are very "athmospheric" and they don't require any intellectual elaboration on lyrics that may distract the attention; but if they are "too much" for her, you can always try something like Peaches en Regalia (very energetic), Sexual harassment in the work place (super sensual) or the combo Eat that question-Black Napkins on Make a Jazz noise here;  if none of this fits well, the good ol' Watermelon will make it...

-And for the happy Hollywood ending, Strictly genteel. You can light your cigarette now.
Guaranteed results!   

[Coktor Dox]

I believe I'm going to make a mix CD, based on all these suggestions...thanks!  

(...especially for "I Promise Not To Come In Your Mouth", I had almost forgotten about that one!  Thanks, Barry--and if the track title is too raunchy, just listen to the LATHER version)

[guacamole]

How about "Ride My Face To Chicago" ?

("I'm pluckin' the ol' dennil floss"   )

[SOFA]

Personally, I find most any FZ lousy make-out music because I tend to pay attention to the music, rather than to the succulence at hand...
Though, "I am the Slime" is a great sexual ice-breaker, when lip-synched in a soft shoe mode, naked, wearing only a bow tie and spats, and using an umbrella as a cane...
(Of course I speak from experience; who'd make up something that stupid?)
For foreplay, I recommend Teddy Pendergrass. For the "act", I recommend Luther Vandross - or John Lee Hooker, depending on the rhythm method you wish to employ...
SOFA

[Barry]

Luther Vandross?  

Two words: Chet. Baker.

Does wonders, trust me.

[Noolie]

Sofa:
What are spats, I am intrigued.  The rest of the outfit screams of petulance.

[pappap999]

try this one you could lose your mind. just a few words from the song you continue words and music on your own. or better yet get out the song play it and try it out with someone.


I ate a hotdog it tasted real good...

 am I right or not you could screw yourself insane. oh, i'm sorry the topic was makeout music wasn't it?

               nice chatting

[Debrakadabra]

Much as I love Lather, I would have to say Ahead of Their Time, as I have mentioned before, after the orchestral portions when the Mothers really warm up especially King Kong .  Works every time.  Position the speakers as close to the bed or sofa as possible, adjust the bass and TURN IT ALL THE WAY UP!.  It will either vibrate you off the bed or get you off.....

Guitar is good, but I can understand the point about those who are not used to long solos.  Most humans will respond to the human voice better than to unstrumentals.  How about some Barry White (not to be too cliche, huh?)

DebK

[guacamole]

Though, "I am the Slime" is a great sexual ice-breaker, when lip-synched in a soft shoe mode, naked, wearing only a bow tie and spats, and using an umbrella as a cane...
(Of course I speak from experience; who'd make up something that stupid?)

Well that sounds fairly "provocative"  
Makes a change from the old jeans and sweatshirt I suppose.

[Debrakadabra]

For foreplay, I recommend Teddy Pendergrass. For the "act", I recommend Luther Vandross - or John Lee Hooker, depending on the rhythm method you wish to employ...
SOFA

Witches don't use the rhythm method, so that won't work for me.  Unless I was involved with a Catholic.  Even then...

Just put the glove on,
DebK

[Debrakadabra]

"I promise not to come in your mouth" - ZINY. Typically the track title sounds raunchy, and typically, when you actually listen to the music you realize the track title has very little to do with the actual composition. I have found "I promise..." to be a grand make-out piece of music! Try it out some time!

Well, another good reason to get that album!

DebK