Archive for the ‘Insane’ Category

You Gotta Have Goals, Guys…

On the bright side, at least you aren’t Canadian (these evil sons-a-bitches have been planning world domination ever since 1867…just watch ’em). Take the music of Celine Dion, for instance (an insidious effort to turn everyone into Canadians, one person at a time). I dare not link to any of her music videos for fear of infecting this great site, Barry.

Deliverance

Cue dueling banjos! (via)

Today’s Brainfart: SanDisk Introduces SlotMusic

Proof that the music industry will never get it: in the latest attempt to shore up sales of music on physical media, SanDisk Corp. and the four major music companies plan to announce Monday a new format called slotMusic.

Each unit is to contain an album, plus extras, on a compact memory card that can be played on mobile phones, PCs and some portable MP3 players. The cards are inserted into vacant slots on phones and other devices.

Indeed: why on earth would I buy music from iTunes right out of my home while sipping a nice chilled Grimbergen, when instead I can:

  • Go to Wal-Mart
  • Buy said memory card
  • Drive back home
  • Plug the card into my computer
  • Search for 15 minutes to find the drive’s icon
  • Copy the mp3’s to my hard disk
  • Import in iTunes
  • Hit play

This is going to be huge, oh yes!

It’s Just, Um, Bad For, Uh The, Um Uh, Economy!

Homosexuality is bad, bad, bad, and here’s why:

Spotted at De Omnibus Disputandum.

Persona Non Grata — Ottawa Edition

André Cholmondeley, whom you probably know for his excellent work with Project/Object, is currently working as tour manager/guitar tech for the Adrian Belew Power Trio. The crew were to open for ZPZ at Ottawa Bluesfest last Saturday. André had wanted to watch ZPZ from the side-stage afterwards, simply to enjoy the music. In an email which I’ve condensed somewhat below, he describes how things then turned kind of ugly:

After a meeting on the bus Dweezil demanded from the Festival stage manager (ONE HOUR before their show!!) that I would NOT BE SEEN by him (Dweezil)…!! he asked that he NOT SEE ME AT ALL, EVER, throughout the night.

… and so a guy called Dave, ZPZ’s soundguy, resorted to this:

He literally almost pushed me off the stage and down some steps. It was scary shit. I can’t emphazise that enough. I am shaking still, almost 12 hrs later as i type this after 4 hrs sleep.

He continues:

It was unreal. Surreal. The best part is — before ZPZ played – BELEW played— and I had met this very same guy – Dave – monitor guy — and he was COOL!! We were rapping, talking gear, he showed me a pic on his computer of his guitar-rig which featured the same amp that Adrian uses (Johnson JM 150), like good nerds we chuckled about that as well as his computer gadget his laptop sat on…some device with 2 fans to cool it off, blah blah blah. We talked about him being new on the crew, after I said “Napoleon says hi” –“oh no — that was the old guy, I am new since last year, etc etc”…

André concludes:

Imagine being so unprofessional — and self-important — to think that a HUGE festival, should do your bidding and ban people from public areas. I know – Unreal. But par for the course in Post-Mortem Zappa-land. No surprise. Bullying at every turn.

Worth mentioning: Ottawa Bluesfest features about 230 bands, and takes place over the course of 11 days.

Update #1 9/07: Dweezil Zappa responds.
Update #2 9/07: André responds to DZ’s response (we have a copy, in case it were to mysteriously vanish from the z forums)

Michael Kenyon’s Alive And Well And…

enema statue

living in Russia.

The Big Laurel Canyon Conspiracy

Everyone loves a good conspiracy theory, right? How about one that exposes Frank Zappa (among others) as being part of a huge undercover operation run by The Military-Industrial Complex™, the goal of which was to infiltrate, and subsequently neutralize the “hippie movement”? Oh yeah!

And so it goes as one scrolls through the roster of Laurel Canyon superstars. What one finds, far more often than not, are the sons and daughters of the military/intelligence complex and the sons and daughters of extreme wealth and privilege – and oftentimes, you’ll find both rolled into one convenient package. […] You might also encounter some former mental patients, such as James Taylor, who spent time in two different mental institutions in Massachusetts before hitting the Laurel Canyon scene, or Larry “Wild Man” Fischer, who was institutionalized repeatedly during his teen years, once for attacking his mother with a knife (an act that was gleefully mocked by Zappa on the cover of Fischer’s first album). Finally, you might find the offspring of an organized crime figure, like Warren Zevon, the son of William “Stumpy” Zevon, a lieutenant for infamous LA crimelord Mickey Cohen.

There’s more, if by now you’re having a craving.

(Thx Kevin)

Up, Up & Away En Sus Beautiful Balloons

File under Stranger Than Fiction:

A Brazilian priest is missing after he drifted out to sea while trying to set a record for a flight using helium-filled party balloons, authorities said on Tuesday.

Balloon Priest

De Carli, who flew around 55 miles (90 kilometers) before losing contact, had wanted to draw attention to the work of his parish in Paranagua, which targets mostly truck drivers who transport goods to and from the port.

Umm… bananas!

More hereVia Dr Sharl — who else?

Not So Wuthering

If your name is Kate Bush, you may want to look away now.
Be sure to check #6 #1!

Culture Jamming 101: ShopDropping

Shopdropping is a tactic used by artists and activists to clandestinely place altered or recreated objects into retail stores. Handmade labels were printed out for students to color, cut, and paste. The project featured real people who make the products, their name, and sometimes even a story. The intent is to reconnect the labor with the product.

Though their aim seems noble, I can’t help but think these people could be doing something somewhat more constructive towards actually changing the corporate environment for the better.

You be the judge.